a rugs life

We interrupt our regularly scheduled “Kindergarten Obsession” programming to bring you photos from Rada’s birthday a few weeks ago.

Party guests having meaningful conversation:

The birthday cake:

The wish:

• Every morning, the principal in my daughter’s school rings the bell in the school yard to signal the beginning of the day. Its an old fashioned ring-a-ling type that you’d see in a Norman Rockwell painting. I really like that he’s there every morning, visible, smiling and ready to help.
• The teachers are always friendly and up-beat.
• Although the goodbyes are hard for my daughter, the afternoon re-unions are quite good. Most mornings there are tears and there is clinging, but when I greet her in the afternoon, she is acclimated, comfortable, self-confident. She likes showing me around the building, and I pretend I would be lost without her guidance.
• She is learning a new letter each day. Each letter comes with its own song and she enjoys singing them all.
• Yes, there is homework, but it takes all of 3 minutes to do. And its not a such bad habit to get into.
• Thursday is ‘Back to School Night’. The parents meet the principal, sign the parent-teacher compact, visit the classroom and get to sit in kid-sized chairs.

Yours from the front lines, taking it one day at a time,

- a kindergarten mother

Having my child start kindergarten has been a roller coaster. Just when I think that she’s going to be OK and that I made the right decision to send her to this particular school, I learn about some byzantine rule or procedure. Like, for example, the ‘card system’. If your behavior is exemplary your card stays in the green zone all day. If there is a lapse, you go into the yellow zone, and then orange and then… red….

Rada seems to be doing fine with the zones and she even won a ‘prize’ last week for good behavior in class. But the notion of concentrating on discpline this much saddens me. It saddens me that she still doesn’t know the names of all her classmates in her class. It saddens me that she still has a hard time saying good-bye to me in the morning. Pre-school was not like this.

Rada’s teacher seemed gentle, friendly and calm upon first meetings. But now I am seeing more and more her turning the other way when there are difficulites. Already she seems overwhelmed just getting the children to line up and go into the building.  She seems so young to me, and very much alone. Pre-school on the other hand, had a close-knit team of colleague-teachers who supported each other and the children.

I knew that this particular school was stricter and more traditional than others, but when I visited I also sensed a strong feeling of purpose and mission among the staff; they all seemed to care very much about their work and the kids. So I took a chance. I also liked the proximity to our home. I liked the idea of Rada walking to school and for me I liked the relief of being close to work.

But when I hear about other kindergartens and how they’re going about doing things, my heart grips in my chest and I wonder if I am doing the right thing by my daughter. We are certainly not Kansas anymore, for sure. It is an inner city school with inner city problems and issues.

But I am in it for the long haul, at least for the year. (And I’ve decided I’d better get involved and engaged because I’m going to make the best of it.)

Reporting from kindergarten front-lines…

At the end of day one, the parents gathered in the school yard waiting for their kids to exit the buildling, like paparazzi waiting for movie stars.

When Rada appeared, she was at the front of her line, holding her teacher’s hand and scanning the crowd for my face.  When she saw me, she broke into a smile that brought tears to my eyes.

Later that evening I heard all about the day. Rada doesn’t de-brief me (though I wish she would). Rather, she acts out the day with her animals. So we acted out kindergarten, and I learned about the red table, and the blue table, and how each child was asked to identify the shape in front of them. With Rada as ‘Ms Calvert’ I learned alot about staying in line and looking with my eyes. Apparently kindergarten is about crowd control and classroom procedures. Basic training for 6 year olds.

This morning, day two, was fraught with potential disaster. I had relied on dropping her off for the early-morning supervised breakfast in order to get to work for a special meeting. However, yesterday the breakfast never appeared. I was worried it would be the same case today. Or worse the breakfast would appear but Rada would cling to me.

But it is the dawn of a new age.

We got to school, and the teacher monitoring the door said, “Come on in, breakfast is ready.” With barely a backward glance, Rada marched in with the rest of the students. I stood there a moment, flummoxed, and then ran after her, begging for a hug goodbye. I guess I was the clingy one.

Reporting to you live from the Parent Channel — we are interviewing a mom whose child just started kindergarten this morning…

PC: How did the drop-off go?

Mom: It was OK. My daughter got a little shakey at one point so I did the Kissing Hand for her, and it seemed to help.

PC: What is the Kissing Hand?

Mom: I kiss the palm of her hand, and the love travels all the way up her arm into her heart where it stays all day long.

PC: What happened after you said good-bye?

Mom: Well, (stifling a sob) they lined them up and took them into this big red buildling. They don’t allow the parents to come in (can you believe that?) and God only knows what they’re doing in there. Yes, I’m a basket case. 

PC: So what is it like now that your baby has started school?

Mom: waaaah! I miss her!