November 8, 2003
House of the Apes #2–Everyday, Everywhere, Porn
INT-DAY-Living room of large 4-bedroom house in Somerville, Mass.
RED-HAIRED GIRL
Can I use your laptop for a second while I’m down here?
APE #1
Sure.
RED-HAIRED GIRL
Why are the buttons all sticky?
INT-NEXT DAY-BATHROOM
RED-HAIRED GIRL
I know I threw that Victoria’s Secret catalog out, what is it doing on the back of the toilet?
She brushes coffee grinds off the cover and tosses the catalog in the trash. She turns to the sink to wash her hands, and stops.
RED-HAIRED GIRL
And why is my lavender lotion sitting out on the counter?
INT-NEXT DAY-LIVING ROOM. Red-haired girl attempts to shove her videotape of Barton Fink into the VCR atop the television, but realizes there is already a tape in the machine. She hits eject, then rubs her fingers together.
RED-HAIRED GIRL
Why are the VCR buttons so greasy?
She removes an unlabelled black videotape from the machine and groans.
Fade to black.
Stay tuned for next week–The Mysterious $400 Phone Bill (or, Who Called Brazil at 3am on a Tuesday Night?)
Filed by cynthia rockwell at 3:22 pm under Scenes from House of the Apes
3 Comments
*LOL*
I’m not sure if Apes have the cranial capacity to appreciate gifts. But at least now you know that a bottle of hand lotion for each of them would make a great stocking stuffer.
lavender-scented! i once read about a psychology study that found that when men sniffed a combination of lavender and pumpkin, they became aroused.