Helpful guide for parents — dental edition

Our dentist sends us a useless newsletter every so often (quarterly?) with gems like this, a set of code words to deceive your children, so in addition to being traumatized by a painful dental procedure they will also not trust you because you lied to them and they will always wonder who the hell Mr. Bumpy was.

It would be funnier if it wasn’t so creepy.



Don’t say…
Say instead…
needle or shot sleepy juice
drill Mr. Whistle (or Mr. Bumpy)
drill on tooth clean the sugar bugs
pull tooth wiggle the tooth
cavity sugar bugs
suction Mr. Slurpee (or Mr. Thirsty)
exam count the teeth
teeth cleaning tickle the teeth
explorer teeth counter

Autonomous Hui

In form, if not in fact, the structure of Chinese sub-provincial units goes as follows:

  • Region (province)
    • Prefecture
      • County (and/or district)

There may be one or many counties/districts in a prefecture and one or many prefectures in a region.  China also has the idea, if not in fact, of autonomous regions, prefectures, and counties.  The general naming structure is: <placename> <ethnicity> <”autonomous”> <unit>, where unit could be region, prefecture, or county/district.  So, for example, you have, officially, the “Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region.”  But the autonomous designation is, as it were, autonomous, so you end up with situations like:

  • Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region
    • Bayin’gholin Mongol Autonomous Prefecture
      • Yanqui Hui Autonomous County

So that’s a nominally autonomous region of Hui (Han Chinese Muslims) within a Mongol autonomous prefecture within a Uyghur autonomous region, none of which are, of course, in the slightest bit autonomous.