That creepy feeling you sometimes get while attending a wedding — "this
one ain’t gonna last" — is now being expressed in numbers.
In an unusual bit of numerical reasoning, a psychologist and two mathematicians
at the University of Washington state that they now can predict the fate
of a marriage with high accuracy, identifying shortly after nuptials up
to 94 percent of the couples who are destined to split.
Here’s how: By recording what happens while husband and wife engage in
a brief conversation, and counting the number of positive and negative
interactions, the researchers calculate a compatibility ratio that warns
when a marriage is heading for trouble. If negative interactions outweigh
good ones by five to one, expect divorce.
This begs the obvious question, why not administer this test BEFORE
allowing couples to tie the knot, thereby avoiding years of useless expense,
suffering and emotional trauma. Think Brittany Spears and Jason Allen
have passed the test? How about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie? Liza
Minelli and, well, anyone?
Which reminds us, why are gays so fired up
to get married? They should
they have an excuse
form of modern torture. And the rest of us should WELCOME those poor
bastards (and bitches) to the fellowship of the miserable. Misery,
after all, loves company…..
from the Boston Globe