knew something was up as soon as we arrived to work yesterday morning
to find our building surrounded by cops, squad
cars illegally parked on each corner, and a line of Boston City and State
Police motorcycles out back, lining the appropriately named Dummer St.
A gang of elegantly suited but inherently dangerous looking individuals
with antennae growing out their ears were blocking the doorway from
the garage to the lobby, where the hard -core smokers hang out when the
weather is bad.
As it instinctually is in situations like these, out first
thought was that the gig was up, and some forgotten incident in our
checkered past had finally caught up with us. However, when we heard
some of the surly secret agents conversing with their lapels in a familiar
foreign tongue and cadence, we were able to place them. Mossad!
Memories of our teenaged detention and deportation from
the Holy Land at the hands of this most secret of secret services came
flooding back like a tidal wave of hot ethnic glue. Their parting words,
Lod Airport had been "We’ll be keeping an eye on you." Had we somehow,
after all the years, run afoul of the International Jewish Conspiracy
So it was with some relief upon gaining our office to learn
that we learned the big to-do was the presence upstairs, in the broadcast
studio of WBUR, the local NPR affiliate
with whom we share a building, of former
Prime Minister Shimon Peres, architect of the Oslo Peace Accords. We
managed to catch part of the interview from our car. Peres sounded
surprisingly optimistic. He predicted a comprehensive Middle Eastern
within five years. From his lips to God’s ear, as we say…..
Working downstairs from WBUR is
a mixed blessing. Sometimes
they call us upstairs to collect leftover chicken and tuna wraps and
the flavors of soda no body else wanted after they throw a catered conference
or meeting. Being ESL teachers pathetically thankful for any semblance
of a perc, we trot upstairs and grovel thankfully. On the other
hand, we strongly suspect it is they who call Tony’s Towing EVERY time
we try to park downstairs
in the garage with an expired parking sticker. But we never
really wished them ill, being a non-profit and all, until today.
Now, in order to make ends meet, the Dowbrigade has a whole
slew of low- and no- paying side jobs in a variety of industries, including
serving as webmaster and web journal editor for a small but elite public
relations firm with numerous public sector clients whose owner, an old
friend from college days, wishes to remain anonymous within the confines
of this blog, for obvious reasons.
Said friend last month reported he was sending on a check
for the princely sum of $344, for services rendered. The fact that it
still not arrived was neither surprising nor unprecedented, and the Dowbrigade
by nature is the kind of person who only thinks about money when he has
none. However, today our erstwhile part-time employer reported receiving
a nice letter from WBUR thanking him for his donation of $344! The cheeky
bastards! They cashed our check!
How, you may ask (as did we), could they not have noticed
that the check was not made out to WBUR, but rather to a teacher who
worked downstairs? It took us a minute to figure it out, and then the
light went on. They thought it was directed to the OTHER
whose show, Whad’ya Know? is carried
on their station! They thought
it was a contributor so enamored by that piece of whimpylib propaganda
that they wanted to send in a nice round amount for its perpetuation
You can be sure that Monday morning, bright and early,
we will be up there in that office, demanding our cash and threatening
a lawsuit. Why, that’s Check Fraud, or Tampering with the US Mail, or
something. We feel righteous indignation welling up just thinking about
it. We are capable of making a major scene. As long as there aren’t
any of those Mossad agents still hanging around….
Peres story from the WBUR