Getting Out of Dodge

As
mentioned in the posting below, it is hard to predict what will open
the floodgates of memory. Some are fond and fulfilling
memories, making connections and explaining enigmas.  Other’s make
it immediately obvious why the memory was forgotten in the first place.
Such a treasure trove of mercifully forgotten memories was rubbed raw
again by a feature in today’s Boston Globe on Adult Dodgeball. Apparently,
this archetypically
American Darwinian elimination activity is experiencing a comeback.

As vicious an outlet for pre-teen and adolescent sadism as has come out
of middle America, Dodgeball has been largely condemned and forbidden
in the recent past, our "enlightened" times.
For those of our readers too young or alien to be familiar with this childhood
trial by fire, let us explain the basic rules of dodge ball. A large group of
players, often mixed boys and girls, start out standing in a loose
knot in the center of an indoor gym or outdoor blacktopped playground.

One or more round rubber balls are introduced into this mix, and the object is
to take the ball, and fling it as hard as possible at any of the other players.
Should the ball strike any part of the target player, he or she is "out",
and required to leave the field of play. Should the target manage to catch the
ball before it hits the ground, the thrower was declared "out". In
a time-honored American tradition, reminiscent of the Shootout at the OK Coral,
the "last kid standing" is declared the winner.

Although seemingly innocuous, that textured red rubber ball, in size and weight
somewhere between a volleyball and a basketball, flung with all the force sugar,
hormones and frustration can generate in a pre-teen body, could painfully sting exposed
flesh, and so who would aim anywhere else?

Many of the non-athletically incline kids would awkwardly expose themselves on
purpose, or even throw gentle poofballs at each other, in order to be eliminated
as quickly and painlessly as possible, retiring to the sidelines to relax and
watch
the
remaining contestants embarrass themselves in a variety of manners. The bigger,
more coordinated
kids took sadistic pleasure in eliminating as many of these dweebs as quickly
as they could, flinging the ball with all their strength in attempts to elicits
cries of pain or better yet, cowardly spastic efforts to avoid the physical and
emotional pain of early elimination.

This dubious form of recreation and athletic activity was especially popular
in "primary" school,
grades
1-6,
which
in
the
US
means 7-12 years old. Gym teachers like it because it required almost no equipment
or active supervision; basically they stood around and watched us kids slap
each other silly. For
these
and
other
reasons
Dodgeball
has
largely been eliminated in today’s enlightened educational environments.

Being almost totally bereft of athletic skill, yet cursed with a highly competitive
nature, the adolescent Dowbrigade developed a cagey tactic of blending in with
the crowd, trying to avoid attention or attractiveness as a target by becoming
invisible. Moving around the fringes of the group, keeping away from the other
players still "alive" (offering the aggressive players less attractive
shots and fewer chances to fling the ball at a knot of victims hoping to kill
any one of the group), we were usually able to survive until there were only
three or four players left. By then, rivalries had developed between the most
vicious killers so that they were often blindly determined to eliminate each
other, forgetting us entirely until we were the only opponent left. At this point,
at least we had a chance, to dodge a few shots and hope to catch one before one
caught us.

So this is one sleeping dog we would rather let lie.  However, for
those sick bullies who haven’t had much fun since Dodgeball went out of
style, here’s how to get your jollies:

The new adult twist on the game was dreamt up by Paul Naddaff, 23, and
Sean Kemery, 28, and was appropriately inspired by Ben Stiller’s ”Dodgeball." ”Paul
and I went to see the movie and we both really liked it," Kemery
says. ”And I started mentioning how much fun I used to have playing
it, and
how I’d love to play again, and Paul’s reaction was, ‘I’d like to play,
too.’ "

If Big Kids Dodgeball takes off, Kemery and Naddaff hope to expand to several
geographical regions around the state. Meanwhile, Kemery says he’s not
surprised at the favorable response to the league.

”I really remember loving dodgeball when I was a kid, and I think
a lot of people feel the same way about it," he says. ”I hate
to sound cheesy, but you can be a big kid again."

from the Boston Globe