Dowbrigade

ROME (Reuters) – An Italian pensioner committed suicide after his wife fell into
a coma, but just hours after he killed himself the woman woke up, Italian media
reported on Saturday.
Recalling the end of "Romeo and Juliet," the 70-year-old man, Ettore,
who had sat by his wife’s bedside for four months after she slipped into a coma
following a heart attack, finally gave up hope and gassed himself in the garage
of his family home.

Less than a day later, his wife, Rossana, woke up in her hospital bed in Padua
and immediately asked for him.

Her first words were "Is the son of a bitch gone yet?"

The northern town of Padua lies just 40 miles from Verona, where star-crossed
lover Romeo killed himself believing Juliet to have died. But minutes later
Juliet woke up and seeing Romeo dead, stabbed herself.

Upon first seeing the play, we refused to believe anybody, even
love-struck teenagers, could be as retarded as Romeo and Juliette. Guess
it’s a regional, Northern Italian kinda thing….

from Reuters

The
Washington
Post today reports that the Defense Department on instructions
from the Defense Secretary, appearantly unhappy with the intelligence
they were getting from the CIA, has established a separate intelligence
agency. Tired of all those pessimistic worryworts over in Langley whining
about quagmires and exit strategies, the administration hopes that
the new agency can come up with a less pessimistic, more uplifting product
for
the President’s
morning intellignece breifings….

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon, expanding into the CIA’s historic bailiwick,
has created an espionage arm and is reinterpreting US law to give Defense
Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld broad authority over clandestine operations
abroad, according to interviews with participants and documents obtained
by the Washington Post.

The previously undisclosed organization, called the Strategic
Support Branch, arose from Rumsfeld’s written order to end his ”near
total dependence on CIA" for what is known as human intelligence.

And not a moment too soon. From the Dowbrigade’s point of view,
there has been an alarming lack of human intellignece in Washington
for the
past
few
years.

from the
Washington Post via the Boston Globe

MORAKETIYA, Sri Lanka, Jan. 19 -A dozen Americans walked into a relief
camp here, showering bereft parents and traumatized children with gifts,
attention and affection. They also quietly offered camp residents something
else: Jesus.

The Americans, who all come from one church in Texas, have staged plays detailing
the life of Jesus and had children draw pictures of him, camp residents said.
They have told parents who lost children that they should still believe in God,
and held group prayers where they tried to heal a partly paralyzed man and a
deaf 12year-old girl.

The attempts at proselytizing are angering local Christian leaders, who worry
that they could provoke a violent backlash against Christians in Sri Lanka, a
predominantly Buddhist country that is already a religious tinderbox.

from the New York Times

People using wireless high-speed net (wi-fi) are being warned about
fake hotspots, or access points.

The latest threat, nicknamed evil twins, pose as real hotspots but are
actually unauthorised base stations, say Cranfield University experts.

Once logged onto an Evil Twin, sensitive data can be intercepted.

But how do you tell which is the evil one?

from the BBC

It
is always gratifying when one of our ridiculous rants is immediately
ratified by an unrelated local news story. It was just yesterday that
we (the Dowbrigade
and his buddy the wisecracking traffic cop) were decrying
the lack of manners and civil
respect for the traffic regulations on the part of the rich, foreign
born members of our community.

Many of these individuals grew up in rich and privileged families in
their far-flung points of origin, families that were in fact largely
exempt form the law of their lands, particularly those minor rules and
regulations governing things like driving and parking. THOSE laws largely
exist to keep the streets clear for important people. And all of this
in countries in which the general attitude toward traffic rules
is one of enlightened neglect. Is it any wonder that they are confused
by traffic laws that are actually enforced, by beat cops who can’t be
bribed, bluffed or intimidated? Is it not obvious why cops love busting
these obnoxious foreign weenies (although they would probably catch some
heat from beating up Crown Prince Haakon of Norway)? Is it any surprise
that the Dowbrigade has emotional conflicts pertaining to his job, which
depends on these people?

But Francois Youhanna, a Lebanese native who now owns a West Roxbury
bodyguard service and drives a Hummer, stepped over the line when he
parked illegally in front of a Starbucks near Berkeley St. and went in
to get a cuppa Joe, leaving his girlfriend guarding the tank. Actually,
that wasn’t really over the line – happens hundreds of times a day. The
meter lady (what is the PC euphanism, Parking Enforcement Official?)
asked the girlfriend to move it and she refused (she was probably more
afraid of Francois’ reaction if she moved his Hummer than of the meter
maid).

As the
inevitable$55 ticket was being written Francois showed up with the
coffee. He demanded the public official stop. She refused. So naturally,
he threw the hot coffee in her face.
First and second degree burns and a trip to the New England Medical
Center ensued. Meter people hate it when that happens. Suspect arrested
for Assault and Battery with a Deadly Weapon – the hot coffee! We are
sure, as the dude says, that it was an accident:

Youhanna insisted he spilled the coffee on Noviello by mistake after
slipping on some ice and falling, a story his female companion echoed.
But witnesses said Youhanna – who is 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds – charged
at the meter maid and was very close to her face when the coffee was
thrown.

from the Boston Herald

It
is always gratifying when one of our ridiculous rants is immediately
ratified by an unrelated local news story. It was just yesterday that
we (the Dowbrigade
and his buddy the wisecracking traffic cop) were decrying
the lack of manners and civil
respect for the traffic regulations on the part of the rich, foreign
born members of our community.

Many of these individuals grew up in rich and privileged families in
their far-flung points of origin, families that were in fact largely
exempt form the law of their lands, particularly those minor rules and
regulations governing things like driving and parking. THOSE laws largely
exist to keep the streets clear for important people. And all of this
in countries in which the general attitude toward traffic rules
is one of enlightened neglect. Is it any wonder that they are confused
by traffic laws that are actually enforced, by beat cops who can’t be
bribed, bluffed or intimidated? Is it not obvious why cops love busting
these obnoxious foreign weenies (although they would probably catch some
heat from beating up Crown Prince Haakon of Norway)? Is it any surprise
that the Dowbrigade has emotional conflicts pertaining to his job, which
depends on these people?

But Francois Youhanna, a Lebanese native who now owns a West Roxbury
bodyguard service and drives a Hummer, stepped over the line when he
parked illegally in front of a Starbucks near Berkeley St. and went in
to get a cuppa Joe, leaving his girlfriend guarding the tank. Actually,
that wasn’t really over the line – happens hundreds of times a day. The
meter lady (what is the PC euphanism, Parking Enforcement Official?)
asked the girlfriend to move it and she refused (she was probably more
afraid of Francois’ reaction if she moved his Hummer than of the meter
maid).

As the
inevitable$55 ticket was being written Francois showed up with the
coffee. He demanded the public official stop. She refused. So naturally,
he threw the hot coffee in her face.
First and second degree burns and a trip to the New England Medical
Center ensued. Meter people hate it when that happens. Suspect arrested
for Assault and Battery with a Deadly Weapon – the hot coffee! We are
sure, as the dude says, that it was an accident:

Youhanna insisted he spilled the coffee on Noviello by mistake after
slipping on some ice and falling, a story his female companion echoed.
But witnesses said Youhanna – who is 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds – charged
at the meter maid and was very close to her face when the coffee was
thrown.

from the Boston Herald

ATHENS (Reuters) – A clutch of complaints by U.S. viewers that the
Athens Olympics opening ceremony featured lewd nudity has incensed the
Games chief, who warned American regulators to back off from policing
ancient Greek culture.

"Far from being indecent, the opening ceremonies were beautiful,
enlightening, uplifting and enjoyable," Angelopoulos wrote in a
weekend commentary in the Los Angeles Times titled "Since
When is Greece’s Culture Obscene?"

He might also have noted that although the original Olympics
featured homo-erotic oil wrestling, no-holds-barred gay bath houses, animal sacrifices
and myriad
luxurious temple cults where drunken orgies with the priestesses was considered
religious devotion, in this day and age one is much more likely to
find all of these phenomena in
Los Angeles than in Athens.

article from Reuters

photo from Athens Opening Ceremony by Wolfgang Rattay

Boston
University is the perfect school for Sydney Simpson, daughter of the
Juice. The stereotypical BU student is a semi-smart spoiled rich
kid, and although there are numerous and notable exceptions, the stereotype
exists for a reason. Boston University is a playpen for the pampered
and privileged, and as far away from Brentwood Terrace as one can get
without
leaving
the country or getting wet.

However, the Simpson fame and temperament appear to be harder to shake
off than the paparazzi, as we can see in the following story from the
Boston Herald:

O.J. Simpson’s daughter, Sydney, a student at Boston University, was
arrested in Miami over the weekend after a reported "catfight” at
a high school basketball game.

he 19-year-old coed was charged with resisting arrest and disorderly
conduct after she allegedly yelled profanities at police officers and
slapped one in the hand after a dust-up at a prep school hoops game.

Authorities in Miami say Simpson’s "disorderly conduct” impeded
police trying to investigate the incident. Reportedly, two teenage
girls told police that Simpson hit them in the face, but they declined
to press
charges.

One of the few academic categories in which BU consistently places in
the top ten is in number and percentage of foreign students enrolled,
and they fit the BU profile in spades. We have more than our fair share
of Pinochets, Allendes, Al Saud’s and freshly minted Russian megamillionaires.
Many of our students sport wristwatches worth more than the White Whale, our car.

On a related note, yesterday we were pulled over by a City of Boston cop after
pulling a Uey on Commonwealth Avenue in front of our office through a
yellow light. It must be noted that the Dowbrigade is normally a VERY
careful driver due to other exotic habits which could turn a routine
traffic stop into an expensive and traumatic encounter with the criminal
justice system. We wouldn’t have even gone through a YELLOW light if
we hadn’t been late for the semester startup meeting and distracted by
an outrageous comment by that moron Howard Stern, coincidentally a BU
Grad and an old customer of the Dowbrigade back in the day when Stern hung out on the very
corner where yesterday’s infraction occurred. But that’s a story for another time.

At any rate, this cop seemed sort of friendly when he asked for our licence
and registration, and we managed to flash our BU ID in the process of
turning over the other paper and plastic.  Mid-30′s and paunchy, not very
neat but with a worn and weary humanity even in yesterday’s 8 degree weather, he asked
in which branch of the BU behemoth we worked. We admitted to working with
the aliens.

After the requisite 10 minute wait while he ran our plates and numbers,
during which we kept the windows cracked, the motor running and the heater
up high, he returned and started chatting us up.  First he told us that
BU was pressing the Boston Police to write more tickets on campus, and bigger fines,
in order to instill a sense of automotive respect for the laws of a civilized
society.  It seems that the privileged rich kids in their
BMW’s and Mercedes act like that the traffic laws were written only for the rest
of the peons, and write off parking and traffic fines as one more cost
of doing business, the business in this case consisting of using Daddy’s money to get through college
with the least amount of physical and mental effort possible.

Then, in a magnanimous gesture of middle-aged solidarity, he reported
that all of my paperwork checked out, no warrants out for my arrest,
registration and inspection in order and that therefore he was forgoing
what would have been a $150 dollar fine and those odious points on the
insidious auto insurance scam scale which would have cost over a grand
during their 4 year half-life, and instead would issue us a warning.

However, he was just getting warmed up in his oratory.  He immediately launched
into a diatribe against FOREIGN STUDENTS who he said were the worst of
the worst, both because they were uniformly ignorant of local traffic
laws and regulations and because they were so rich and spoiled that
they practically laughed in his face when he wrote them up. The poor guy couldn’t
get no respect.  We smiled sympathetically and nodded our head,
anxious to get into the meeting which had started ten or fifteen minutes ago.

Finally, as if realizing he was on the edge of verring out of verbal control into unacceptable
behavior in an officer of the law, he asked us how business was. When we mentioned that we had lost
a lot of our students lately to schools in England and Australia, he
changed course again and left us with the following joke:

A very rich Chinese student arrived on the campus of Great Britain’s
oldest and finest University and was dismayed to discover that he was
required to attend an orientation session. "There must be some mistake."
he protested indignantly to his academic advisor, "I did not come here
to be Oriented! I am already Oriented! I came here to be Oxidized!"

And with that our Blue Centurion returned to his black-and-white chariot and sped off in pursuit
of the next miscreant. Marveling at a Boston beat cop who could tell
an English ESL joke and noting that we had been pulled over directly
into a legal metered parking space a half block from our office, we popped
8 quarters into the damn machine and rushed off to our meeting.

Simpson story from the
Boston Herald

More backlash from the community to the recent revelations of slipshod
containment methodology at Boston University pathogen bio-defense labs:

Boston University and city officials squandered public trust and galvanized
opposition to a planned high-security laboratory by waiting until this
week to tell city residents that three BU researchers were infected
last year with a potentially lethal bacterium in a less-secure lab,
advocates and elected officials said yesterday.

from today’s Boston Globe

Details continue to emerge concerning the supposed dirty bomb attack
on Boston. Strange that on the day of the inauguration, the Federal
security apparatus is investigating a possible attack on the home of
the President’s defeated rival. Meanwhile, we have to go to the office
to calm the nerves of our 300 new foreign students, more than half of
whom hail from Asia, and who are probably wondering about all of the
suspicious stares they are getting on the mean streets of Boston….

The FBI launched a massive manhunt across the region yesterday for
six people, four Chinese scientists and two Iraqis, said to be planning
to detonate a "dirty bomb" in Boston, local public safety
officials briefed on the threat said.

At a police briefing yesterday at District A-1 station near Government
Center, a police intelligence official told officers that detectives
in the department would be trained in the use of radiation-sensing devices,
and he gave officers instructions about responding to a dirty bomb attack,
along with descriptions of the suspects.

"
They have modeling software they can use if it happens," said the
officer, who attended the meeting along with representatives of the Fire
Department and emergency medical services. "Within 3 minutes,
they can tell us which direction the wind is blowing in, which streets
to
shut down. They said it is a threat and we’re taking it seriously."

from the Boston Globe