Dowbrigade

Burgled shopkeeper Neil Primett was dumbfounded to spot a passer-by
dressed from collar to ankle in striking but uncoordinated designs -
exactly like those stolen three weeks ago from his store in Bedford.

"I couldn’t believe it – he was wearing such a mismatch," he said,
after ringing police and then tailing the luridly dressed suspect whose outfit
was topped off with a T-shirt vividly stamped with the word "Criminal".

Article continues "That’s a sleeveless summer item which we haven’t even
put on sale yet," said Mr Primett, who compared the man’s overall look to
Rupert Bear’s.

Although local streets were busy, the suspect’s clashing combination of green
check elasticated trousers (last fashionable two years ago), a jazzy tracksuit
top and the electric blue sleeveless T-shirt with "Criminal" in luminous
yellow made him hard to lose.

"The top really stood out," said Mr Primett, after the man was taken
away in a patrol car equally clearly labelled "police". "He may
have thought he was being fashionable but the clothes didn’t go together at all.
You certainly couldn’t call him a trendsetter."

If poor fashion sense were a crime, the Dowbrigade News would be a prison
blog. As to "Neil Primett", see "Who
makes up these names?"

from The
Guardian

A face moisturiser
made out of semen has been launched in Mexico.

Porn star Lyn May, who is in her sixties, is behind the company producing
the cream.

Mrs May swears that the Semen moisturizer is capable of erasing wrinkles
and leaves skin soft.

She told Las Ultimas Noticias: "I select attractive young man and
pay them for their semen that is mixed with honey and oats to create the
moisturiser."

This is appearantly widespread folk wisdom in Latin America, undoubtedly
spread by voracious depraved Latin Machistos. Years ago, we were
delighted to discover that Norma Yvonne beieved semen cured acne scars.

Much more
agreeable than our first wife, the Peruvian Princess, who wouldn’t
drink mineral water because she believed that all those minerals were
showing
up when she weighed herself…

from Ananova