Archive for May 16th, 2005

Inhuman Monster Sodomizes Men, Women and Children

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If
the entire Muslim world is ready to riot in the streets because some
trailer trash squatting in Cuba put his Koran down on the porcelain
throne, imagine how they would react to a giant, night-stalking bat-like
pederast from hell, who stalks a city, sodomizing Muslim men, women
and CHILDREN, for God’s sale! Well, imagine no longer…

CHAKE CHAKE, Tanzania (Reuters)
– Mohammed Juma starts to sweat and fidget as he recalls
his
rape by
Popo
Bawa,
the most
feared
spirit-monster
of the Zanzibar spice islands.

"We believe reading the Koran is our only defense, nothing else," says
the 41-year-old driver and father of four. "But Popo Bawa is real,
and well prepared."

Vacationers on the Indian Ocean islands tend to smile dismissively at accounts
in guidebooks of the bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children.
But for superstitious Zanzibaris a visit from the sodomizing gremlin is
no joke.

Although no one ever has seen it, belief in the monster and his unnatural
lust is so strong that entire villages will sleep out of doors for protection:
Popo
Bawa (Swahili for Bat’s Wing) prefers to attack behind closed doors at night.

This Popo Bawa character sounds like a sure hit in Hollywood! A
dark and torn hero, who knows what drove him to his incessant search
for satisfaction?
Check out the following testimonials:

"I couldn’t call out for help to my husband who was lying asleep beside
me. Popo Bawa is strong: He really presses down on you. And it took such a long
time: One hour! Eventually I lost consciousness. And I was one of many who were
attacked."

Just what Hollywood needs – a strong leading man with staying power…

"I felt my mouth becoming bigger and bigger. I started losing
my ability to form words. My feeling was that my lower lip had stretched
to
my lap. I felt weak in my body. I became very sweaty. My experience was
like that of a neighbor of mine who said his head seemed to grow to an
enormous size."

Now the Dowbrigade is on familiar territory. We have felt exactly like
that, many times. Of course, we had no idea we were about to be raped
by a giant bat-like creature, nor do we have any memory of any such attack
(and one would expect to be at least somewhat sore). Nevertheless, in
the world of devils and demons, anything is possible.

The monster favors Pemba, the poorer and more backward of the archipelago’s
twin islands despite being home to the clove plantations that provide the
mainstay of Zanzibar’s economy.

We favor the poorer and more backward regions of most of the countries
we visit, and can understand Popo Bawa’s attraction to the Cloves as
well.

He also becomes active at election time: a habit that is testing
nerves ahead of polls due in October.

Wow! This is just uncanny! He sounds like an American politician!
Popo Bawa for President!

from Reuters

Quote of the Day

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Why should Kim Jong Il fear us, when we can’t even secure the road from Baghdad to the airport?

Paul Krugman in NYTimes Op-ed

read the Downing St. Memo“This record is extremely sensitive. No further copies should be made. It should be shown only to those with a genuine need to know its contents.”

Year of the Rat

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It is a touchy use of the word "discovered" when a rodent
that Laotians routinely eat is purchased at a market and then declared
to be a new species. Just think of the debate over saying America was
discovered by a European who stumbled over it 12,000 years after humans
first settled there. But until field researchers found the animal on
sale in Thakhet, and lab analysts identified it as a separate species,
the foot-long critter that Laotians call kha-nyou, or rock rat, didn’t
have a scientific name.

from the New York Times

Cartoon of the Day

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