Dowbrigade

Actress
Molly Sims is shown wearing a $30 million diamond bikini in this publicity
photograph released February 14, 2006. The bikini, designed by Susan
Rosen is made up of over 150 carats of D flawless diamonds. The bikini
is featured in the 2006 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue which is being
released February 14.

from Reuters

We
heard the news that the Vice President had shot his lobbyist friend
in a hunting accident while we were in the
ICU at a minor urban hospital, doped up but still in considerable pain. We
have yet to hear or read our first response anywhere else, despite the
plethora of one-liners engendered by this Imperial Faux Pas.

"Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle, upon learning of the
incident involving the current VP, commented, "That’s one invitation
we’re glad we turned down."

Conspiracy theorists see the opening moves of a plot
to force the resignation of the Vice President. Should this be the case,
we wonder if the plotters have thought about who will actually be running
the country should they succeed.

No, not another gross photo of the Dowbrigade caught in the maw of
a major metropolitan hospital. This is
much more serious and significant.  Now, it is hard to shock the
Dowbrigade, and after the previous material previously divulged about
the abuse at Abu Ghraib prison it is difficult to shock the news-aware
American public.

But a new two minute video released today frankly made us sick to our recently
relocated stomach. It graphically drives home the point that what we
are doing in Iraq is against all of the honorable principals on which
this country was founded, and does a grave disservice to all of the true
American heroes who gave their lives defending this country and those
principles. It leaves no question as to who the bad guys are in Iraq
on the ground today, whatever the motives and methods by which it was
started.

In our opinion these images are a thousand times more damning and capable of causing violent
indignation than the Danish
cartoons of the Prophet.
If it were OUR people on the floor, under cowls, connected to electrical
leads, etc., we just might feel like joining a demonstration leading
to a riot and burning a few embassies. But maybe it’s just us, and this
isn’t another example of the conflicts in culture and values that is emerging
as the defining struggle of our times.

video from Reuters (extremely graphic)

After
a harrowing encounter with the modern American medical system, the Dowbrigade
is back in action, although under medical house arrest for the immediate
future. By the time the docs got in there to tackle a look, our stomach
had migrated completely through the hole in our diaphragm and into our
chest. Somehow, it had pushed aside the other stuff up there, like the
heart and lungs, and made itself at home.

No wonder we’ve been eating and eating and our belly
hasn’t been getting any bigger! Our stomach wasn’t there anymore! It
was our chest that was getting bigger. We thought it was just
extra muscle and sinew! Several times during the past few months, we
actually caught ourself gazing admiringly at our naked reflection in
a mirror and thinking, "Not a bad profile for a 52-year-old, Must be
all
that tennis."

Ah, save us from vain conceit. Look forward to
more tales of intrigue and medical mysteries over the next few weeks,
as well as the standard mix of fun, fantasy and incisive analysis, as
we expect to have plenty of time to blog during our protracted recovery.
Because of the extent of the organ relocation and length of the operation,
we have been told we may not be able to get back to work for 5 or 6 weeks.

note: Occasional readers may be shocked by the gross
graphical nature of the photo. We have even better ones to look forward
to. Regular readers will recognize that one of the themes of the Dowbrigade
News is shocking photos, visual puns, and that we rarely miss an opportunity
to gross out our readers.

Besides, one of our fundamental beliefs is that one
can call oneself a blogger only to the degree to which one is willing
to expose, risk or demonstrate some essential element of the person behind
the postings. Welcome to our world.