Dowbrigade

IN
its March 23rd issue the London Review of Books, a respected British
journal, published an essay titled "The
Israel Lobby." The
authors are two distinguished American academics (Stephen Walt of Harvard
and John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago) who posted a longer
(83-page) version of their text on the Web site of Harvard’s Kennedy
School…

Is Israel, in Mearsheimer/Walt’s words, "a liability
in the war on terror and the broader effort to deal with rogue states?"

from a New York Times Op-ed piece

Why, because it is the first and foremost victim of that
terrorism? That’s like the rest of the country asking if New York City
is a liability
in the war on terror, because it contains so many attractive targets
and so many swarthy foreigners.

On the other hand, Israel is undeniably a democracy where
fringe parties, dangerous radicals and assorted wackos have a much greater
role and influence than in the United States, and could use some sage
advice and perspective from her elder sister democracies from time to time.

IN
its March 23rd issue the London Review of Books, a respected British
journal, published an essay titled "The
Israel Lobby." The
authors are two distinguished American academics (Stephen Walt of Harvard
and John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago) who posted a longer
(83-page) version of their text on the Web site of Harvard’s Kennedy
School…

Is Israel, in Mearsheimer/Walt’s words, "a liability
in the war on terror and the broader effort to deal with rogue states?"

from a New York Times Op-ed piece

Why, because it is the first and foremost victim of that
terrorism? That’s like the rest of the country asking if New York City
is a liability
in the war on terror, because it contains so many attractive targets
and so many swarthy foreigners.

On the other hand, Israel is undeniably a democracy where
fringe parties, dangerous radicals and assorted wackos have a much greater
role and influence than in the United States, and could use some sage
advice from her sister democracies from time to time.

Unlike the oil-fueled Frankenstein that is the modern
state of Iraq, the ancient empire of Babylonia and its capital city of
Babylon, famed for its incomparable hanging gardens and hated by right-thinking
Rastas
everywhere,
has
a long and storied history.

Babylon,
correctly called (apologies to Ricky Ricardo) Babilu, was the "holy
city" of ancient Babylonia from 2300 BC,
and then capital of the Neo-Babylonian Empire from 612 BC. It was near
the modern Iraqi city of Al Hillah, about 60 miles south of Baghdad,
and was coincidentally chosen as the 1st US Marine Division headquarters
and as a major helicopter base during the invasion and occupation of
Iraq in 2003.

Is anyone worried about the damage to the archeological
record and the world’s cultural heritage? Well, that’s why they call
them RUINS……

BABYLON, Iraq – In this ancient city, it is hard to tell
what are ruins and what’s just ruined.

Crumbling brick buildings, some 2,500 years old, look like smashed sand
castles at the beach. Famous sites, like the Tower of Babel and the Hanging
Gardens, are swallowed up by river reeds.

Signs of military occupation are everywhere, including trenches, bullet
casings, shiny coils of razor wire and blast walls stamped, "This
side Scud protection."

Babylon, the mud-brick city with the million-dollar name, has paid the
price of war. It has been ransacked, looted, torn up, paved over, neglected
and roughly occupied. Archaeologists said American soldiers even used
soil thick with priceless artifacts to stuff sandbags.

But Iraqi leaders and United Nations officials are not giving up on it.
They are working assiduously to restore Babylon, home to one of the Seven
Wonders of the World, and turn it into a cultural center and possibly
even an Iraqi theme park.

from the New York Times

This is a great example of thinking outside the
box, but fails to go nearly far enough. The Dowbrigade has for years
maintained
that the only hope to break the bloody impasse in the Middle East is
to turn the entire region, or at least the Metro Jerusalem area, into
non-denominational theme park. What could be more appropriate and promising
for the cradle
of
human
civilization
and the ancestral stomping grounds of three of the all-time greatest
religion to be converted to a magic kingdom dedicated to tolerance, godliness,
having fun and making money?

And it’s right and our right, to be able to take our kids to Bethlehem, or the Stations of the Cross, or Masada, or the Dome of the Rock, without worrying about getting blown up.

All areas, shrines and events must be open to all,
but each religion will be responsible for maintaining and administering
its
own attractions; the Christians in Manger Square (big crowds for Xmas),
the Jews at the Wailing Wall, the Muslims at the Dome of the Rock. While
the respective governments will probably want to keep the income from
admissions to the actual sites and events, there would be plenty of ancillary
income streams for ordinary citizens, like food, hotels, souvenirs,
guides, reenactment actors,translators, child care professionals and
entertainment industry workers of all kinds, according to the rules,
taboos and predilections of each religion. There would be work for those
unfortunate individuals of all religions afflicted with the infamous
"Jerusalem Complex", who could earn a living and feed their fantasies
by walking around pretending to be Moses, Jesus, Judas or Muhammad Ali.

Probably, one of the first potential conflicts could
be whether the Big Three world religions could claim exclusivity, and
freeze
out other legitimate religions, who would certainly try to turn it into
Religions of the World World Fair. Should the powers that be allow in
Buddhists, Hindu’s or even Scientologists? How about a few Earth mother
animists to work in the time honored traditon of the temple prostitutes
of old? Would this endanger the Family-friendly standard of the enterprise as a whole?

Of
course, the absolute overarching rule must be No Weapons, No Violence,
No Hatred. Non-denominational metal detectors at every entrance
to the "Holy Zone". Not only no guns, but no blades that could
cut a hot dog. Jews would have to perform the bris elsewhere. No hate speech,
signs, music or T-shirts allowed.

This is essential because once it is established that the
Holy Land is once again safe and Family-friendly, we believe it will
become the greatest tourist attraction the world has ever seen. And just
in time – if the world ever needed a living reminder that we can all
live together under the aegis of a merciful and loving God, it is now.

Hopefully, the God Zone tourists will not spend
all their time in the areas controlled by their own particular religion.
Families
will start to venture out for a little Comparative REligion tourism,
visiting shared or typical attractions pf the other religions, building
understanding and tolerance across cultural lines.

Think of it! The social calendar would be full,
fur every day of the year must be a holiday in some sect of one of
the three religions . Tourists
and pilgrims could go at any time of the year, and be sure of catching
some beautiful and important ceremonies. It would be the ultimate marketplace
of ideas and schlock – theories and postulations, tchotckeys and souvenirs.

For those who object to the crass commercial callowness
of this plan, let us just remind that the commercialization of Christ,
the Wailing Wall and the legacy of Mohammed is as old as their respective
religions themselves.  Whether it be the wholesale sale of authentic
pieces of the cross, , the search for the Ark of the Covenant, or ancient
reliquaries with dung from the camel Mohammed rode in on, religion has
been big business since the beginning. Nobody know this better
than the established churches, which is the only reason this whole plan
has a prayer.

So can we all get behind this plan? A Holy Land
theme park, with well-lit, handicapped accessible Biblical attractions,
multi-lingual
signage, first-class facilities for pilgrimages of any size, length and
religious affiliation,
a fantastic assortment of restaurants in conformity with the diverse
dietary laws of all major sects, stripped of weapons and hatred, and
dedicated to worshiping, learning, scholarship, family entertainment,
having fun in the sun, and fostering cross-cultural and inter-religious
detente.

Nothing else seems to have worked, over the past 4,000
years. Maybe it’s time to think outside the Book.

A "sexual harassment" investigation is ongoing at an
Ohio college after the school’s librarian suggested that students read
a few books from a conservative perspective.

According to the Alliance Defense Fund — a legal alliance that aggressively
defends religious liberty — a librarian at Ohio State University at Mansfield
has been slapped with a "sexual harassment" charge after he suggested that
freshmen read four best-selling conservative books.

Scott Savage is a reference librarian at OSU Mansfield and a member of
the school’s First Year Reading Experience Committee. After suggesting
that students read "The Marketing of Evil" by David Kupelian, "The Professors"
by David Horowitz, "Eurabia: The Euro-Arab Axis" by Bat Ye’or, and "Takes
a Family" by Sen. Rick Santorum, Savage was put under "investigation."

The Alliance Defense Fund reports that three professors filed a complaint
of discrimination and harassment against Savage because the list of books
he suggested made them feel "unsafe."

"Universities are one of the most hostile places for Christians and conservatives
in America," said ADF Senior Legal Counsel David French, who heads ADF’s
Center for Academic Freedom. "It is shameful that OSU would investigate
a Christian librarian for simply recommending books that are at odds with
the prevailing politics of the university."

from Christopher
Flickinger in Human Events Online

Incredible story, in the sence of stretching creibility.
As big a fan as we are of finding "sexual" twists to almost anything,
we fail to see the connection here.So far, the only on-line mentions
we have found for this story are from a handful
of conservative blogs.
Anybody at OSU, or otherwise on top of the story, who can perhaps give
a logical analysis of what’s going on?

A CELL of ultra-Orthodox Jewish hackers has declared
war on porn sites and is breaking into them and replacing pictures with
those of a famous rabbi.

According to the Yedioth Aharonot newspaper, the ‘sex commandos’ see images
of sex as an abomination.

Generally any pictures of naked women will be replaced by the bearded Rabbi
Menahem Mendel Schneerson, the late leader of the popular Jewish Lubavitch
movement.

Below each image is the works "we, the Da-Net group, have hacked into
this site and erased all its abomination."

The group then describes the porn site as "a violation
which has caused many people’s death, troubles and calamities."

"What is this violation? It is a man who has spilt his sperm for nothing!" the
message says.

from the Inquirer

Plenty more where that came from. At any rate, Dowbrigade
sperm has been reproductively moot since a freak high-tech industrial accident
back in ’95….

Needless to say, these nutballs are in Israel, and have a
world of primo porn sites to work their way through before they get anywhere
near your favorites.

a tip ‘o the hat to j for the inspiration and jonathan for the link

A
mumified child called ‘the smallest mummy in the world’ is seen (left photo) on display
at the mummy museum in Guanajuato, Mexico on April 11, 2006. Ten mummies
on display in this museum will tour the U.S. starting at the Museum of
Natural History in New York as of next June. (AP Photo/Mario Armas)

from the Associated Press

DURHAM, N.H. — It looks so simple – catching a fly ball.
But of all of the balls hit into the outfield, the straight shot is the
most difficult to catch. And if it’s twilight, it’s even worse.

Ken Fuld, professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire, studies
visual psychophysics. A former assistant baseball coach at UNH with a son
playing for one of the Chicago Cubs minor league teams, Fuld says there’s
more than meets the eye to catching fly balls and hitting pitches for the
boys of summer.

"An outfielder is computing a collision course between the ball and
the fielder in much the same way as a bird of prey tries to intercept another
bird also in flight for its meal or an insect tries to contact a member
of the opposite sex for the purpose of mating. These are all forms of what
vision scientists call visually guided behavior. Fielders must figure out
the trajectory of the ball and combine that with information about their
own movement in a way that requires a quick initial calculation of this
information and then constant updating of information to correct for slight
errors," Fuld says..

from a University of New Hampshire press release

The Dowbrigade, back in his Little League days,
used this incredible cognitive ability to quickly analyze the trajectory
of fly balls to predict where they would come to earth AND THEN AVOID
THAT SPOT LIKE THE PLAGUE, as even a casual familiarity with the laws
of physics shows that a falling object accelerates at 9.8 m/s/s until
reaching a terminal velocity equal to 2 times the weight divided by  the
drag coefficient times the density of the air times the frontal area
of the object, and even a casual familiarity with a baseball shows
that they are HARD…….

GRANBY, N.Y. – The one-eyed, noseless kitten that inspired
an international debate last year over whether it was a hoax is coming
to a new museum of oddities in central New York.

The museum founder, who believes in creationism, said the kitten is meant
to launch another debate about how science and religion intersect.

The Oregon woman who owned the kitten said she turned down Ripley’s Believe
it or Not! and sold the remains to John Adolfi of Granby because she liked
his religious reasons for wanting them.

"We didn’t want Cy becoming a joke or part of a personal collection," Traci
Allen said. "But John was so heartfelt, you could tell he was genuine
and sincere.

from the AP

We’re not sure which is the surer sign of the End
of Days – the appearance of this misbegotten feline, or the bidding
war
over the poor animal’s cadaver. We can only wonder what kind of sick
and twisted religious rites Mr. Adolfi has planned for Cy’s dead meat.

ROME — For more than 40 years he eluded arrest. He dispatched
orders on little typewritten notes and shunned telephones that might
pinpoint his location. His resume allegedly included some of the most
gruesome murders in Mafia lore.

Yesterday, the reputed godfather of the Cosa Nostra and Italy’s most-wanted
fugitive was captured in a ramshackle farmhouse outside the Sicilian town
of Corleone, a name made infamous by author Mario Puzo and Marlon Brando.

Provenzano, 73, has been on the run since 1963, surviving thanks to a network
of faithful henchmen, his family, and corrupt police and politicians. Authorities
say he became the ”capo di tutti capi," the boss of bosses, following
the arrest in 1993 of Salvatore ”The Beast" Riina.

He was convicted in absentia in the 1992 bombing murder of a leading anti-Mafia
prosecutor in Sicily. He earned the nickname ”The Tractor" from his
reputation for mowing down people in his youth, when authorities say he
was an up-and-coming hit man for the Corleone clan.

article from the Boston Globe

Yesterday, April 9th, was a spectacular spring day
in Boston, perfect for baseball, bird watching (in the British
sense) or a protest march. Mired between semesters, at the tattered tail
end of a medical leave and looking for a little action, in our wimpy,
middle-aged way, we decided to attend the Boston iteration of the nation
march for immigration rights.

For the record, your correspondents position on the
question is that we are ALL immigrants and guest workers on Planet Earth,
that in a perfect world everybody would be able to live wherever they
want, and that anything we can do to get closer to that ideal is a good
thing. We’ve always been a nation of grubby immigrants clawing our way
towards the American Dream, and if you don’t like it, move to Canada
or Switzerland. This is America, and its open to all. Love it or leave
it, baby.

But as a Movement, we weren’t expecting much from the
Boston illegal immigrant march. Half a million strong they came out in
Los Angeles, a sea of people, a generational echo of the march to Yazgur’s Farm. Even
more in Texas. However, we expected that the lower level of ethnic homogeneity
and organization in the immigrant population of Boston and the higher level of paranoia
among that population, most of whom are trying very hard to
keep a low profile and not draw attention to their precarious presence
here, would severely limit turnout.

We were not disappointed. We snagged a primo meter just
off Copley Square, and made sure the damn thing was full (having gotten
hit while at a doctor’s appointment in Cambridge a few hours earlier).
The plan was to set out backwards down the march route towards the Boston
Common, where the rally was supposed to form up. Still, we were a bit
early, so we had a smoke and sat in the White Whale for half an hour or so,
reading the New York Times.

Not much to shoot or report on, we thought. But it was
a beautiful day to spend in the part, march or no march, and we had just
pumped 8 quarters into our meter, so we decided to stick around and
see what developed. In the meantime, completely ignoring the repeated
advice of Norma Yvonne, our primary care doctor and our nutritionist, not to mention
dear old Mom, we scurried into the Boston Common McDonalds for a quick #1 Value meal.  Since it
was our first solid sustenance of the day, we scorfed it
down like a hungry hound and hurried back to the scene.

What a difference a few minutes can make! There was
now a colorful, motley crew of hundreds, skipping and jumping around,
wrapped
in flags, hoisting signs, waving banners and shouting stuff in Spanish
and English.

Once the music stopped and the speeches started we got
bored and decided to head back to the White Whale, to feed our meter
and our head, and wait for the main rally at the end of the march, which was scheduled to terminate right
in Copley Square. By the time we left the Common, the crowd had swollen
to several thousand and was becoming, if not feisty, at least raucous.

It was almost six, but Coply Square was still strongly illuminated thanks to
DST, with long shadows of roofs and church spires slanting across the lawns and walkways, when we shook ourself back to the 21st century and got out of the car to see what was going on. The
organizers had set up another temporary stage on one side of the Square,
and a lively pop-reggae beat blasted from a powerful PA. As we crossed
Boyleston St., right in front of the main Boston Public Library, we fell
in with a chattering gaggle of female 30-something  suburban shoppers,
simultaneously weighed down by designer store shopping bags and buoyed
up by the intoxicating scent of spring in the air.

"Look," said one, "There’s a concert in the Square!
Must be the Noontime Concert Series. What day is it?"

"No," answered another, "The free concerts in the Square
are on Wednesday.  Today is Monday.  Must be some special celebration."

Discussion ensued. Some of the ladies wanted to check it out, others
said, why bother? We felt obliged to lend a hand.

"Ladies," we interjected, "Less than a half mile from
here there are 30 thousand enraged, criminal, illegal immigrants. That
godless jungle music is for them, and they are headed for RIGHT WHERE
YOU ARE STANDING!"

They looked at each other, trying to reach a consensus
as to whether we were dangerous or ridiculous, but, seemingly unable
to reach a verdict, hurried off. We crossed the street, alone. In front
of the library, an overweight, high-milage hold-out from the 60′s in a
tie-dyed peasant blouse and strand upon strand of worry beads draped over her ample breast looked us in the eye and asked, "Have you found
Jesus?"

"Didn’t know he was lost," we sneered as we hurried
by.

10 meters further down the sidewalk, there was another
one! This one was a guy, in a long brown sackcloth robe with a rope belt
(he had
that Boston Cardinal thing going) but looking more like Friar Tuck.  He
held up a sign with a single word emblazoned on it in red paint, a word
he also intoned every 15 or 20 seconds or so- "Repent."

"We haven’t even "pented" the first time yet," we informed
him, as we cut across the street, which was clear, as traffic had already
been cut off by the motorcycle cops standing on all the corners.

What is it about a warm spring day and a protest march, we wondered, that brings our every Jesus Freak, acid queen, religious extremist and political whacko in the state?

On the
inner perimeter of the streets around the Square, the satellite trucks
of the major networks and more ambitious local stations had set up. So
far, reporters and tourists clearly outnumbered immigrants.

We got some good shots and movies as the immigrant wave
flooded into the Square, until we noticed that our camera was beeping
because its memory chip was full. We had no idea how long that had been
the case. There was some semi-organized activity taking shape on the
small stage in the Square.

All things considered, we decided to disappear before
more politicians and wannabes started speechifying again.  The White
Whale was poised for the get-away. Five minutes later we were back over
the river, heading to Watertown.

In retrospect, a pleasant protest, if somewhat lacking
in weight of numbers or seriousness. As much as it pains us to admit
it, the French may have us beat in the current season of springtime social
protest.

article from the Boston Globe

The Bush administration is planning to use nuclear
weapons against Iran, to prevent it acquiring its own atomic warheads,
claims an investigative writer with high-level Pentagon and intelligence
contacts.

President George W Bush is said to be so alarmed by the threat of Iran’s
hard-line leader, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, that privately he refers to him
as "the new Hitler", says Seymour Hersh, who broke the story
of the Abu Ghraib Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal.

Hersh claims that one of the plans, presented to the White House by the
Pentagon, entails the use of a bunker-buster tactical nuclear weapon, such
as the B61-11, against underground nuclear sites. One alleged target is
Iran’s main centrifuge plant, at Natanz, 200 miles south of Teheran.

article from the Daily
Telegraph

This makes a lot of sense – stop the spread of nuclear
weapons by unwrapping a few and opening a can of atomic whipass on a bunch
of unrepentent troglodytes like the Iranians. Just be careful with the
Dial-a-Yield, and keep those oil fields radiation-free.

Meanwhile, for the foreseeable future, even rumors of
military action in the region will send crude oil prices spiking, and an
actual attack would present the oil companies, once again, with the unsightly
problem of record prices and profits to hide or explain away.

The Bush administration is planning to use nuclear
weapons against Iran, to prevent it acquiring its own atomic warheads,
claims an investigative writer with high-level Pentagon and intelligence
contacts.

President George W Bush is said to be so alarmed by the threat of Iran’s
hard-line leader, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, that privately he refers to him
as "the new Hitler", says Seymour Hersh, who broke the story
of the Abu Ghraib Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal.

Hersh claims that one of the plans, presented to the White House by the
Pentagon, entails the use of a bunker-buster tactical nuclear weapon, such
as the B61-11, against underground nuclear sites. One alleged target is
Iran’s main centrifuge plant, at Natanz, 200 miles south of Teheran.

article from the Daily
Telegraph

This makes a lot of sense – stop the spread of nuclear
weapons by unwrapping a few and opening a can of atomic whipass on a bunch
of unrepentent troglodytes like the Iranians. Just be careful with the
Dial-a-Yield, and keep those oil fields radiation-free.

Meanwhile, for the foreseeable future, even rumors of
military action in the region will send crude oil prices spiking, and an
actual attack would present the oil companies, once again, with the unsightly
problem of record prices and profits to hide or explain away.