As we settle into the Command and Control Chair at Dowbrigade World Headquarters for our nightly session of essay correction, exercise writing, Nazi hunting, television grazing, naval gazing, Wiki writing, bitcasting, vacation planning and arcane research, we run our increasingly astounded eyes over the EyeTV channel guide.
What, no Game of the Century? No nailbiting playoff game on? No Big Three unveiling, World Championship or Division Finals? No trip to the finals, unbeaten season, record-setting streak on the line? What are we supposed to watch?
The headline sporting events on the tube tonight seem to be a college football contests between two polar regions of Michigan (Central Michigan vs Western Michigan, ESPN) and perennial powerhouses Massachusetts and Rhode Island. Nary a title on the line. A veritable sporting wasteland. We refuse to watch poker as a competitive sport on TV.
This is indeed a quandry. We have become so jaded, so addicted to a multi-feed, mashed up stream of consciousness, that we are unable to concentrate on one thing at a time. And it appears that late at night, while working on the on-line minutiae and the odds and ends of our electronic life, one of the feeds needs to be history-making, championship level sports.
When one has been dining on a steady diet of World Champions and Games of the Century, a zesty 1988 tussle between McGirt and Taylor (ESPNC) just can’t scratch the itch. This is what it must have felt like to be a Roman patrician when they ran out of Christians.
In the nick of time we remember that the tape Marty gave us Saturday of the match between Manchester City and Chelsea is outside in our tennis bag in the back of the White Whale. Now lets see if we can dig out a VHS tape player somewhere, from the Department of Outdated Technology….