f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

first the Hotham:

 

 

 

loud wind–

the bed unmade

all day

 

 

my move

their move

morning clouds

 

a pile of orange peelings–

the night watchman

away from his desk

 

 

 

Gary Hotham from breathmarks: haiku to read in the dark 

(Canon Press, 1999)

 

 

by dagosan:  

a green mitten

at the curb —

warming one small red hand

 

                                           [Jan. 21, 2005]

 

“tinyredcheck”  There may be some excellent reasons for entering the Pacific Legal Foundation‘s 6th

Annual Judicial Writing Contest, but getting extra spending cash — the point stressed by both

PLF’s Tim Sandefur (free money) and Crime & Federalism’s Mike Cernovich — does not come readily

to mind as a benefit you can count on.  Mike (Fed84) says that not entering the Competition while

in law school is one of his biggest regrets, because “First, it’s an excellent way for you to make some

extra money.” 

 

Maybe I’m being uncharacteristically curmudgeonly, but PLF is giving away a total of $9500 to the 

top three prize winners.   I don’t know how many entrants there usually are, but if Tim and Mike are

successful in drumming up a lot more essays through weblog publicity, I think the odds will start getting

kind of long.   It takes an investment of two bucks and a moment to scratch off a lottery card, but the New

York state Lottery gives you the approximate odds of winning.  And, laws like Montana’s “Disclosure of Odds”

requirement exist in all states for such games.  Do PLF’s entrants — who are expected to submit publishable

essays of 8,000 to 14, 000 words — deserve less, even in the libertarian world of laissez faire?

 

To my cynic’s eye, it’s ironic that the essays this year will cover the Takings Clause of the Constitution and

theories of government “givings.”  It seems PLF is taking a lot for all the time and effort the entrants will be

giving, basically, to help PLF brainstorm and draft future briefs and other documents.  The usually tough-minded

and skeptical Fed84 says “I can’t see a downside to your entering the contest.”  It seems to me that the likelihood of doing lots of unpaid work, and the need to take the libertarian side of the argument for a realistic chance at some money, might be downsides to many law students.  If your financial aid office counts any winnings aginst your aid package, you might also see another downside.

• 
  
  
  

  If the odds of winning are actually quite high — because there are only a handful of entrants

  
  

   — why not just pay a half-dozen selected law students $1000 each for a finished essay, with

  
  

  perhaps a bonus for two considered to be the best?  Too much like a pig in a poke?  Rather

  
  

  let a law professor do the editing?  Too free-market-like?
  
  
• 
  
  A final note: PLF’s entry rules say “Students are encouraged to seek the guidance and
  
  
  input of a faculty member of their own choosing.”  This suggests to me that PLF wants
  
  
  a really good finished product more than it wants to see what the individual law or graduate
  
  
  students can produce. 

  p.s. PLF calls this a poster.

 

  What kind of wine goes with Inaugural Baloney?  Prof. B knows, and he takes

Hugh Hewitt to task for his over-the-top praise of President Bush’s speech, while quoting

Peggy Noonan, and worying about “mission inebriation” in the White House.

   didn’t work! [but get one here]  “no W”  

Despite the fact that our twice-elected Crusader-in-Chief is a haiku president. 

I didn’t find much consolation in the pomp of this Inauguration Day.  Indeed,

given the state of our politics, I felt the need to be especially politically-incorrect.

And, you know what?  I had myself quite a few belly laughs (and cheek spasms).

 

First, I listened to all of George Carlin‘s newest book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?,

and then I ended the evening thumbing through my John Callahan cartoon collection. 

  George Carlin has done it again with Pork Chops, and I even forgive

him for usurping some of my favorite topics — e.g., euphemisms, politician-speak, and the

Virgin Birth.  I know this book has sold a lot of copies in hardback, but I have no doubt

that listening to Carlin’s delivery on audio cassette or audio CD will enhance your

experience.  [I found that the least funny or insightful parts of Pork Chops center on

merely being vulgar, but it was well worth getting through those passages to hear the rest.]

 

  It recently came to my attention that a lot of people have not yet experienced

 the work of John Callahan — our most famous, most wickedly-funny paralyzed cartoonist. 

[Warning: As the back cover of Best of Callahan (Ballantine Books, 2003) notes: “This book

is not for the timid, the easily offended, the politically correct, or your grandparents” — unless

you have really cool grandparents!]  Click here and here for two examples of his work that concern

lawyers.  And, check out a few pages from his newest collection Levels of Insanity (2004), which

deal with politics. 

Sigh.  With Charlie Rose on tv interviewing Newt Gingrich as I type, I just put Jan. 20, 2005,

behind me.  I do so with a smile and hope.  With Carlin and Callahan around to point out our foibles,

prick our consciences, and make us laugh, America can surely become all it says it wants to be. 

 

the great lord
forced off his horse…
cherry blossoms

 

the great lord’s wood fire

rises

first 

                                              by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue 

     

Check out your editor’s Guest Post at Crime & Federalism: pro bono Publico Relations,

for a discussion of the proposal before the New York State Bar Association to grreatly

expand the definition of pro bono services.

 

frosty night–
seven poor men
in a huddle

my dream comes true–
this spring my god
the god of the poor

 

all according to plan, yet
I’m cold!
poor!

                                                     from Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue  

 

 

   one-breath pundit 

Ken Lammers of the CrimLaw weblog has been covering (originally at my request)

a jailhouse confession by a 21-year-old man, who admitted brutally killing his aunt

last week in Troy, NY.  (See Pitcher Jailhouse Interview, WRGB/CBS 6 News, Jan. 12,

2005).  It is an interesting and sad tale, with lots of issues for lawyers (and citizens).  

Click for Ken’s posts:  Confessing to the Media, A Federal PD Speaks and

More on the Television Confession Case

summer wind–

a dragonfly grips

the clothespin

 

prostate exam

the doctor and I

trade jabs

 

her estate

dividing

the children

 

 

  W.F. Owen from The Loose Thread: The Red Moon Anthology 2001 

(edited by by Jim Kacian, et al.) credits: her estate” – Modern Haiku XXXII:1;

“prostate exam” – HSA Brady Contest 2001; “summer wind” – Agniewska’s Dowry 12

 

 

 

 

from dagosan: 

zero degrees

looks just like thirty —

no strollers on the street

                                                   [Jan. 18, 2005]

 

I’m sorry, but I’d like to see admissions of law violation in consent decrees.

city park

the stone hero’s dark side

hides a drug deal

 

 

score tied

both team jerseys look the same

in the August twilight

 

grandfather’s old boots

       I take them

for a walk

 

 

George Swede from Almost Unseen: Selected Haiku of George Swede 

 

 

from dagosan: 

the detective

snaps her notebook shut —

blind witnesses

 

 

mlk, jr., day —

too cold

to march?

                                                    [Jan. 17, 2005]

 

“tinyredcheck” Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy has many aspects.  His hope for a color-blind

and truly integrated America truly inspires me.  But, I want to point out the

courage it took to take the stances he took, when and where he took them. 

Rev. King understood — unlike many who claim to be engaged in civil disobedience

today (see our post) —  that Civil Disobedience entails “Risking punishment, such as

violent retaliatory acts or imprisonment” in an attempt to bring about changes in the

law.”  And, unlike those “slacktivists” who feel self-righteous making meaningless

gestures Rev. King knew that meaningful change takes a lifelong commitment of time

and energy and sacrifice. 

 

                                                                                                                                         

 

  If you want to see how inane the Not a Damn Dime Day campaign

is, check out this Flyer for Retailers, which wants participants to list what they

would have purchased on Jan. 20th, and the amount that would have been sent,

and then states:

“Unfortunately, since I am a Democrat and I protest Bush’s war policy,
I will not be purchasing these products today. I just thought you
would like to know how much money I would normally have contributed
to your company.”

A pet peeve around here is the deterioration in the ability of words to actually

communicate a shared meaning.   One annoying symptom is the increasing use of what

I call inflected reiteration to help the listener understand the speaker’s meaning. 

Examples:   “She’s his girlfriend girlfriend.”  “We’ll, it’s not work work, but .. .”  

“That movie was bad bad.”   Or, “Those aren’t fact facts.” 

 

J. Craig Williams of May It Please the Court may be adding “It’s an ad ad” to this

baneful list, with his recent posting (Jan. 15, 2005), where he asks “Are blogs advertising?”

and answers in the affirmative (that is: “yes yes”). 

 

Craig’s reasoning includes observations such as:

• 
  
  
  

  “What about MIPTC? Yes, it provides a vehicle for people to get to know

  
  

  me without having to meet me, and I suspect under that definition qualifies

  
  

  as advertising. Somewhat suprisingly it has resulted in clients.”
  
  
• 
  
  
  

  “Subscriptions and advertising pay for the people that bring us news and
  

  opinion.”
  
  
• 
  
  
  

  
  

  “It would be difficult to identify an altruistic blog, with no ax to grind. I’m not
  

  sure I could.”

With all due respect to my highly-respected web-colleague, none of the above makes    

a weblog  “advertising advertising” [unless, perhaps, the weblog is built, written and

maintained by >someone other than the Editor-Proprietor].  Like a good thesaurus, a

good lawyer or writer helps advance communication by using words precisely — which

includes recognizing that some synonyms have the same meaning in certain contexts

but not others.  [That “all B is A” rarely means that “all A is B.”]

 

Calling weblogs advertising can only confuse the meaning of both terms.  As viewed

by Craig in his post, I believe weblogs should more precisely be deemed publicity, or 

self-promotion, or public relations.  They are not “advertising” as the terms is commonly

used, and  I can see nothing to gain from blurring the concepts.  We don’t want to have

to explain “Well, Ms. Bar Counsel, my weblog is advertising according to MIPTC, but it’s not

advertising advertising.”  As Wikipedia succinctly says: “Advertising is the paid promotion

of goods, services, companies and ideas, by an identified sponsor.”  Craig’s definition would

make most of the words ever written or spoken “advertising.”

update (June 9, 2005 11 PM):  In a post today, I’ve gone more deeply into

when a lawyer is advertising for the purpose of the Rules of Professional

Conduct. 

Enough parsing of words.  It’s Sunday.  You’ve got some spare time.  Your humble  

Editor suggests taking your daily dose of haiku inspiration with a bit of linked prose: to wit,

haibun: 

haibun — Brief and suggestive prose accompanied by one or more hokku

or haiku, the relationship between the forms of writing being that of ren 

[interaction], not of illustration. (from the Zip School Glossary)

 

In the Light, an online magazine of Japanese literary forms, edited by 

Elizabeth St. Jacques, is a very good place to explore the haibun form. 

Here are three haiku that are part of the haibun Boots, by f/k/a’s friend

Alice Frampton, who tells of an infant who grew into a pair of large boots.

 

 

snow sky –
I miss
the first flakes

 

 

tiny fevered brow –
the tick of the clock
measuring the night

 

 

size eleven boots –
twenty-two years the same
smile

 

 from dagosan: 

the rookie cop rousts

an old hobo —

feeding plump pigeons

                                        [Jan.16, 2004]    

 

Winter moon–

the lost dog flyer

blows from the telephone pole

 

 

Frost-melt on windows–

a bird’s delicate prints

on sun-glistened snow

 

 

 

 Rebecca Lilly, from Shadwell Hills (Birch Prees Press, 2002)

 

 

from dagosan: 

chain-reaction crash

on the sleet-slick bridge —

ice floes speed by

                           [Jan.15, 2004]

  Another sign of how poor my beloved Schenectady has become — the position of

Consumer Complaint Investigator has been abolished (Schenectady [NY] Daily Gazette, Jan. 15,

2005, B1, $$, reproduced here) .  The retiring Investigator, Rick Gonyeau, says “As the retail

establishments closed during the years the numbers [of consumer complaints] dropped down.” 

Local residents will have to turn to state agencies for help.

 

  Cynical in deed: The word cynic comes from the Greek word for dog [“kunos”], but it’s

the human being in charge of Guilderland, NY, who seems cynical to your Editor. The Town of

Guilderland is a small, wealthy suburb of Albany.   On November, 1, 2004, Town Supervisor Ken Runion 

changed the policy of the Town Animal Shelter from “no kill” to a “kill” facility.  Runion says the reasons

for the change included liability and costs.  What seems cynical about this decision is the fact that the

volunteer group Guilderhaven had just competed a donation drive, in which it raised $100,000 in cash

and services for the renovation of the Shelter, predicated on the fact that the Shelter was a “no kill” facility. 

(There are plenty of “kill facilities” in the region.)  The Town board had authorized Guilderhaven to raise the

funds and oversee the renovations.  The work on the Shelter is on hold, while the 12 members of Guilderhaven

attempt to get some answers from their elected representatives. (“Shelter’s policy change upsets backers,”

Daily Gazette, Jan. 15, 2005, B1, $$)

 

 

my New Year’s resolution

            buy

      toilet paper

 

 

 

 

shined by the storm

  the clip-clopping

         mule

 

 

  biting my hand

    at two a.m.

        ant

 

 

 

  

David G. Lanoue from his novels Haiku Guy and Laughing Buddha

 

 

 

by dagosan:  

 

borrowed mystery —

a toilet-paper

bookmark

 

 

snowbanks and 

snowmen dissolve —

all-day rain

 

 

                            

 

 [Jan. 14, 2005]

                                                

  one-breath pundit

 

“tinyredcheck”  Chutzpah Poo-Bah:  You gotta love Prof. Bainbridge: he rattles his tin cup for donations,

but can also make fun of himself by offering to sell his weblog coverage — I can be bought.”  

It’s a sad commentary on something (readers’ intelligence?, the image of lawyers, expert

witness, webloggers, professors?) that Steve had to add, “P.S.: Before you get all worked up

about this post, does the phrase “tongue in cheek” mean anything to you?”

 

Count me among the skeptics when it comes to politicians or the wealthy, who

point to “public service” and “philanthropy” as reasons to lighten their sentences for

corruption and other peccadilloes.  And, just how many grains of salt should be taken

while the judge reads all the “character” letters from friends and beneficiaries?   He’ll defintely

violate the new federal health diet rules.  (Cf. Votelaw and this NYT article.)  

 

 

Congratulations to Bob Ambrogi  for joining the Law.com weblog circuit.  I’m wondering 

how Bob and Bill Heinze of  I/P Updates were able to negotiate having a photo and mini-

profile at the top of their righthand sidebar, while all the other Networkians are saddled

with a big, ugly ad right at the top. 

 

Bill Heinze of I/P Updates engages in a bit of puffery today, with the headline “Welcome

to One of the Ten Best Blogs on the Web.”   Although not mentioned in the post, the List

by “Managing Intellectual Property“ magazine is for the best I/P weblogs.  The full list here.  

The green-eyed monster at f/k/a is waiting for us to be named one of the 10 Best [Haiku-Legal-Ethics]

Weblogs.  Congrats, Bill! 

The consumer watchdog/curmudgeon in me far prefers John L. Welch’s approach in his

TTABlog headline “TTABlog Makes The IP Blog “Top Ten   Isn’t that good enough?

 

I also wonder where — other than “on the Web” — the folks at “Managing Intellectual Property” thought the best weblogs might reside.

 

Caution: I/P Updates has one of those confounded scrolling-ticker-thingies across the top, which — especially, in conjunction with the Law.com flipping rolodex ad — may result in dizziness or fainting. 

update (Jan 21, 2005): Don’t miss Bill Heinze’s “inspired” Comment — the very first limerick dedicated to this weblog!  (Hey, is he calling me anapestic? I’m used to dyspeptic.)   Thanks, Bill, I’m sure glad you’re not from Nantucket.

In case you missed yesterday’s f/k/a premiere of Randy Brooks, here’s
an encore:

grandpa drags his daybed
to the front porch. . .
mockingbird’s songs

missing in action
she dusts off his guitar
returns it to the shelf

Randy Brooks, from World Haiku Review Vintage Haiku of Randy Brooks

by dagosan:

wonton soup

wanton woman

no MSG

[Jan. 13, 2005,

inspiration: B. Wooldrige]

one-breath pundit

Announcing a new haiku weblog: Bret Wooldridge, who is usually hanging

out on Shadow Poetry’s haiku pages, submitted yesterday to nagosan’s plea that he collect

his haiku for the public to enjoy. Thus, The Wanton Tree was born, filled with verse (and verbosity).

Although BW has led with some of his naughtier stuff (to attract some Google querists perhaps),

there’s lots to like that is family-safe. Here are two good examples:

overpass:
the windshield wipers
squeak dry

preschool:
the lower panes
free of frost

Bret explains in his first post how he got the haiku bug: “I am/was an avid guitarist. Following

my obsessive compulsive muse and playing as fast and furious as posible for many hours a day

resulted in tendonitis and a drastically reduced regimen. What to do with my overindulgent nature?

I remembered that I had written haiku 12 years earlier and took it up again with a vengeance. Since

then, I’ve had some publishing success and found I really enjoy writing and reading these tiny poems.”

Bret Wooldridge’s Profile sent me off on a pleasant tangent. He lists “The Scarlet Pimpernel” as one of his favorite movies. But, he doesn’t tell us if it’s the Leslie Howard/Merle Oberon version (1935), the Anthony Andrews/Jane Seymour version (1982), or the Richard E. Grant/Elizabeth McGovern version (A&E, 1999). Wal-Mart has the 1935 classic for $1, with a great cover. (Or, maybe Bret caught the Broadway musical version with Douglas Sills & Christine Andreas.)

Now, it ain’t haiku, but I’ve always liked these lines:

“I’ve written a poem.”
“Who sir? You sir?”
“Yes sir, me sir.”
“No, sir!”
“Yes sir. Listen.
—– “The Scarlet Pimpernel, by Sir Percy Blakeney, Bart.

“They seek him here, they seek him there,
“those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
“Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
“That damned elusive Pimpernel.”

As a Guardian review of the 1999 A&E version notes: The dialogue is from the much admired and fondly remembered 1935 film of The Scarlet Pimpernel, with the great Leslie Howard as the secret rescuer of French aristocrats, hiding his exploits behind a facade as a very foolish fop dancing attendance on the Prince of Wales.” It’s easy to love the 1935 and 1982 films, and I’d hate to have to choose between them. I’d choose to turn off the 1999 tv-flick.

This morning, there was a happy ending to my crashed-computer story.

I’m using it right now, with no data lost. Having my RAM tripled makes my achy body

feel almost turbocharged. And, the bill was a pleasant surprise:

handed the repair bill —

fifty dollars

not five hundred
[dagosan, Jan. 13, 2005]

Prof. Althouse has a pointer today to Maureen Dowd, who is pointing her sharp

finger at men who Just Want Mommy (NYT, Jan. 13, 2005). As a man who has always looked

for an intellectual equal with high (and earned) self-esteem, I find this all a little silly. The

complaining women are looking in the wrong places (e.g., at men who need status and

wealth to feel good about themselves). Not only do I do my own laundry, but I prefer

women who can keep a Scrabble game close right to the end (and don’t want do-overs;

I’d like to win about 3 games out of 5). See ISO: “Attractive Nuisance” Blawgger.

• update (Jan. 14, 2005): Find interesting commentary from Cassandra, at Villainous Companions about the companions we choose.
  

Randy Brooks wears many haiku hats (and crowns) — poet, teacher, and

publisher-editor in numerous media.   As an English professor at Millikin

University (Decatur, IL), Randy has inspired many students to study,

write, and appreciate haiku, and he’s set up a website that showcases their

work.

With teacher-poet George Swede, Randy edited one of my favorite

haiku anthologies, Global Haiku: Twenty-five Poets World-wide; and with his

wife Shirley, he publishes and edits Brooks Books and its haiku website.

He also finds the time to serve as web editor of Modern Haiku Review.

Randy and Shirley have succinctly described the essence of English-

language haiku:

“The essential element of form in English-language haiku is that

each haiku is a short one-breath poem that usually contains a

juxtaposition of images. Each haiku has a break which makes it

a deliberatrely incomplete literary artifact, prompting the reader

to make a leap of imagination in order to complete the moment

begun by the poet.

“The best haiku capture human perception—moments of being

alive conveyed through sensory images. They do not explain

nor describe nor provide philosophical or political commentary.

Haiku are gifts of the here and now, deliberately incomplete so

that the reader can enter into the haiku moment and experience

the feelings of that moment for his or her self.”

But enough prose — except to thank Randy again for allowing us to      

share in his haiku here at f/k/a.   Three haiku from the World Haiku

Review‘s Vintage Haiku of Randy Brooks will give you a taste of his artistry and an urge for refills:

hands on the rail . . .
the humpback whale
doesn’t resurface

funeral procession . . .
snowflakes blowing
into the headlights

two lines in the water . . .
not a word between
father and son

Randy Brooks, from World Haiku Review, Vintage Haiku of Randy Brooks

by dagosan:

snowblower sunrise —

the tenant

hits the snooze button

[Jan. 12, 2005]

reprise-redo:

the ice floe

flaps

flies away

Get off the Dime! Thanks to Prof. Althouse for focusing on the Not One Damn Dime! “protest” scheduled for January 20th.  As Snopes ably explains, this call to arms — er, call to sit on our hands and our dimes — is lame and doomed to failure.  Folks who actually want to say and do something to show opposition to the Administration’s actions in Iraq should consider the following for Inauguration Day:

1. actually specifying what it is they oppose right now about the USA behavior or policy in Iraq
2. having a Get Off the Dime/Not in Our Name weblog day, in which the topic is featured and discussed at thousands of weblogs
3. taking the time on that day to write a personal letter or email to your representatives in Congress and to the President — click CongressLink for an easy-to-use form for finding addresses and sending such messages.

Are Insurers the Med-Mal Whipping Boys? RiskProf Martin Grace has a guest post at Legal Underground today addressing this topic.

My local library —Schenectady County [NY] Public Library — is

trying to salvage some benefit from the load of music overstock-leftover-cutout-stale CDs

it received as part of the Compact Disc Antitrust Litigation Settlement.  As Ted Frank reported

in August at Overlawyered, many of the “beneficiary” libraries were far from pleased with the

quality of the 5.5 million CDs doled out in the Settlement — which were valued at $75.7 million

for purposes of determining the plaintiff class’s attorney fees.   The Friends of SCPL runs a used

book store, Whitney Book Corner, which is selling the CDs from Jan. 10 through 15, to benefit

the Library — at 60% off their retail price.  I stopped in yesterday, and discovered lots of

copies of Barry White albums, the scores of many unrecognizable movies, and a score or more

of Jessica Simpson’s “Irresistible”  [list $13.99], which is available here new for $2.99.  I’ll let you

know just how much money our Library recouped from the Settlement largesse.  [We mentioned

our surprise over all this here.]

 

frost-bitten hydrangeas

   all afternoon

   her closed door

 

 

 

the last log added

catches fire–

midwinter’s eve

 

 

 Carolyn Hall from edge of light: red moon anthology (2003) 

credits:  “frost-bitten” – Acorn II

“the last log” – Hawai’i Education Assoc. Constest

 

 

 

by dagosan:  

toddler flounders

on the icy sidewalk —

computer crash

 

                     [Jan. 11, 2005]

 

night snow–

the house

creaks

 

 

 

home early–

your empty coat hanger

in the closet

 

 

Gary Hotham from breathmarks: haiku to read in the dark   

(Canon Press, 1999)

 

 

by dagosan:  

cold fingers

warm

coffee mug

 

                     [Jan. 10, 2005]

 

“tinyredcheck”  Check out Jim Calloway‘s Rules of Technology and Stress  (via elawyerblog).  Jim says,

concerning his mobile phone, ” for me, the off button is an important and often under-used

feature.”  He offers a techie version of the Serenity Prayer:  “God grant me the serenity to

accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to

know when to hit the off switch.”

  Prof. Crankalone points out:  The first time I told a boss I wouldn’t

get a mobile phone so he could reach me on weekends and in the evenings was

twenty-five years ago.  I pointed out that I had a new-fangled answering machine

and I’d get the message when I got back from my errands.  ( I might not have said

it that diplomatically).  At the time, most Americans didn’t even have answering

machines and a large part of the population considered those who did to be

uncommonly rude.  Don’t let anyone tell you that time-saving technology will

reduce the amount of time you spend working.

Young American lawyers may not be the only greedy ones.  Read about the Aussies.