Florida’s lawyer-advertising police can finally point to a state with even sillier
rules than their own — South Carolina. Thanks to some asinine legislative over-
reaching by “tort reformers,” it is now unlawful for a lawyer to advertise with “a
nickname that creates an unreasonable expectation of results.” (S.C. Code
who has done some interesting brainstorming; and Walter Olson)
Of course, one might argue that no nickname creates an “expectation of results.”
(especially in a part of the Country noted for nicknames). But, that would require
a belief — apparently lacking in the South Carolina Legislature — that consumers
I expect this Nickname Ban to be struck down as an overbroad limit on 
commercial speech. Here in Upstate New York, we once had Jim “The Hammer”
plus four lawyers who practice separately but advertise jointly as “The Dream Team.”
So far, our consumers have successfully avoided Sobriquet Expectation Syndrome.
Should the ban on nicknames be upheld, I suggest that South Carolina lawyers
consider officially changing their given or middle names — perhaps to Champion,
Rock, Vindicator, or the ever-popular Hammer. And, please plan ahead: give your
children names they can grow into that inspire confidence in the gullible. Native
Americans — or their admirers — could probably come up with some very evocative
and effective names (”She Who Takes Many Scalps,” “He Who Always Gets One-Third”).
Do you think “Sue” is allowed? Got any (family-rated) suggestions? Please use the
Comment link below.
its name tag blowing
in the winter rain…
bag of rice