f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

Thank goodness for my StatCounter Keyword Analysis page — it reminded me that August 31st is “Love Litigating Lawyers Day.” It seems that Evan Schaeffer and Beldar are too humble to bring up the topic. Even Overlawyered.com has overlooked it, as has How Appealling.

Last March, I wrote a post describing my unsuccessful search for Hug a Lawyer  Day or a Lawyer Appreciation Day. The closest I could find was today’s designation of Love Litigating Lawyers Day, which is mentioned on a couple of Celebrations Lists. Although our post is the #1 Google results for queries like lawyer appreciatin day>, I’m sorry to say that I have no additional details about how the day is celebrated or who sponsors it (of course, I have my suspicions).

update: See “we all missed Be Kind to Lawyers Day on April 8” (April 15, 2008)

The best I can do — in true Prof. Yabut and skepticalEsq fashion — is to collect a few of my favorite quotations about litigation and trials, for you edification

Let’s start with some observations from Abraham Lincoln‘s notes to law students:

“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.

“Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the register of deeds in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strife, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone ought to be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.”

If that’s too serious, here’s a bunch from Poetic Justice, edited by Jonathan and Andrew Roth (Nolo Press, 1994):

As a litigant, I should dread a lawsuit beyond almost anything else short of sickness and death.

— Judge Learned Hand

The houses of lawyers are roofed with the skins of litigants.

– -Welsh proverb

A lawsuit is a fruit-tree planted in a lawyer’s garden.

— Italian proverb

The lawyer’s prayer: God grant that disputes may arise that I may live.

— Spanish proverb

May you have a lawsuit in which you know you are right.

— Spanish Gypsy curse

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

– Anonymous

Finally, the always-insightful Gore Vidal has noted:

For certain people after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

If you prefer cartoons, here’s a goodie from Wiley and one with Lawyer Snoopy.

For those who want something meatier to chew on, go to the ABA webpage on
Choosing Mediation Over Litigation. If you’re one of those lost souls who fears
there just isn’t enough litigation in America, we suggest checking out our Dec.
2003 post Are There Really Too Few Trials

When you’re finished celebrating litigators today, don’t
forget that Aug. 31st is also National Box Car Day,
Trail Mix Day, Eat Outside Day and Mutt’s Day

clear and cold
the snap
of her attorney’s briefcase

… by Ed Markowski

tagging along
with an ice cream cone
the senior partner

long deposition–
the lawyer’s
“at the risk of repeating myself”

… by Barry George

litigation bags —
the associate’s
half-closed eyes

.. by dagosan

afterthought (3 PM): To no one’s surprise, the f/k/a gang thinks we need a Love a Lawyer-Poet Day. Until one is launched, the closest thing might be owning your very own copy of Off the Record: an anthology of poetry by lawyers, 28 Legal Studies Forum (No. 1 & 2, 2004), which is described here, or its sequel, Legal Studies Forum XXIX:1 (2005), described here. They look like law journals, but they contain food for the soul – and reason to celebrate every day, whether you’re litigating or not.

postscript (4 PM): You may recall that I did some unseemly begging at this website last week and convinced Evan Schaeffer to send me a Legal Underground coffee mug. It arrived this afternoon (lovingly packaged) and I’m just finishing my first cup of coffee from the mug. Thanks again, Evan. Do you think this will turn a retired mediator into a swashbuckling litigator?