f/k/a . . .

If you are like the editor of this weblog and find yourself

getting grumpy when overrun by lame attempts at

humor, we have some important advice for you:

Stay out of the blogisphere for the next few

days.  April Fool’s “humor” will be everywhere,

and scarcely any of it is likely to be funny or

original.

 

                                                                              not!

 

If you’re thinking of writing your own piece of fun April 1

humor or satire — please reconsider.  If you must do so,

kindly avoid writing posts that are made to look and sound

authentic, and declare that well-known or beloved people

are dead. [you know who you are]

 

In a wonderful piece of April First honesty, Bert Foer, the

president of the American Antitrust Institute, revealed today

that There Is Nothing Funny About Antitrust (AAI, March 31,

2006).  Discussing a confidential report by Attorney General

Gonzales, Foer quotes what he calls a “business blogsite”:

“Do you crack jokes about antitrust law? If you can,

you should give yourself a lot of credit, because The

Daily Show got all geared up to do a segment on the

Madison free-drinks antitrust problem and they gave up.

They didn’t know how to make it funny. That’s what I heard”.² 

² http://althouse.blogspot.com/2004/04/do-you-crack-jokes-about-antitrust-law.html.

[Did you see who AAI thinks is a “business blogger” — Law Professor

Ann Althouse.  That is funny.]   Having written speeches for antitrust

officials in Washington, back in my youth, I can confirm that coming

up with a good, ice-breaking, competition-policy joke is nearly impossible. 

 

  Also, not funny for the antitrusters at AAI: “IP Grab - The Struggle

Between Intellectual Property Rights & Antitrust,” which is the topic of

their Annual Conference, on June 21, 2006, in Washington, D.C.  

 

“tinyredcheck” Our pledge to you: No lame attempts at humor at this website from today,

March 31, 2006 through April. 2, 2006.

 

 

                                                                        “scaliaGestureHerald”   original

                                                                                                   Peter Smith/Boston Herald

 

not funny update (11 PM): Go to our post on Nino Scalia’s crude gesture,

for discussion of the actual photo of the moment.  It seems pathetic to Your

Editor that a purportedly courageous Jurist has to prevaricate like a ten-year-

old after making an obscene gesture — and even utilize a U.S. Supreme Court

spokeswoman to make his excuses.  [By the way, if you are still wondering what

a gumbah is see our new “goomba goombah gumba gumbah.”]

 

 

 

 

April Fool’s Day –
a skylark’s song
way over my head

 

 

 

april snow
a pat of butter
melts in the pan

 

 

 

matt morden

“April Fool’s Day” - The Heron’s Nest  (June 2001)

“april snow” - Mayfly #27

 

 

growing old–
even the cherry blossoms
a bit annoying

 

 

 

 

 

 

into the snake’s hole

oh foolish

mouse

 

 

  Kobayashi Issa 

    translated by David G. Lanoue      

 

 

 

 

April 1

no one but me

to make a fool of me

 

 dagosan     

 

 

 

                                 on the old snow shovel       cherry blossoms

 

 

 

 

 

during discussion

on the meaning of life       the crunch

of a student’s apple

 

 

 

  George Swede 

    from Almost Unseen (Brooks Books, 2000) 

 

                                                                                                                                 

 

If you are like the editor of this weblog and find yourself

getting grumpy when overrun by lame attempts at

humor, we have some important advice for you:

Stay out of the blogisphere for the next few

days. April Fool’s “humor” will be everywhere,

and scarcely any of it is likely to be funny or

original.

 

not!

 

If you’re thinking of writing your own piece of fun April 1

humor or satire — please reconsider. If you must do so,

kindly avoid writing posts that are made to look and sound

authentic, and declare that well-known or beloved people

are dead. [you know who you are]

 

In a wonderful piece of April First honesty, Bert Foer, the

president of the American Antitrust Institute, revealed today

that There Is Nothing Funny About Antitrust (AAI, March 31,

2006). Discussing a confidential report by Attorney General

Gonzales, Foer quotes what he calls a “business blogsite”:

“Do you crack jokes about antitrust law? If you can,

you should give yourself a lot of credit, because The

Daily Show got all geared up to do a segment on the

Madison free-drinks antitrust problem and they gave up.

They didn’t know how to make it funny. That’s what I heard”.²

² http://althouse.blogspot.com/2004/04/do-you-crack-jokes-about-antitrust-law.html.

[Did you see who AAI thinks is a “business blogger” — Law Professor

Ann Althouse. That is funny.] Having written speeches for antitrust

officials in Washington, back in my youth, I can confirm that coming

up with a good, ice-breaking, competition-policy joke is nearly impossible.

 

Also, not funny for the antitrusters at AAI: “IP Grab - The Struggle

Between Intellectual Property Rights & Antitrust,” which is the topic of

their Annual Conference, on June 21, 2006, in Washington, D.C.

 

  Our pledge to you: No lame attempts at humor at this website from today, March 31, 2006 through April. 2, 2006.

 

 

 

not funny update (11 PM): Go to our post on Nino Scalia’s crude gesture,

for discussion of the actual photo of the moment. It seems pathetic to Your

Editor that a purportedly courageous Jurist has to prevaricate like a ten-year-

old after making an obscene gesture — and even utilize a U.S. Supreme Court

spokeswoman to make his excuses. [By the way, if you are still wondering what

a gumbah is see our new “goomba goombah gumba gumbah.”]

 

 

 

 

April Fool’s Day –
a skylark’s song
way over my head

april snow
a pat of butter
melts in the pan

 

matt morden

“April Fool’s Day” - The Heron’s Nest (June 2001); “april snow” - Mayfly #27

 

 

growing old–
even the cherry blossoms
a bit annoying

 

 

 

 

 

into the snake’s hole

oh foolish

mouse

 

 

Kobayashi Issa

translated by David G. Lanoue

April 1

no one but me

to make a fool of me

 

dagosan

 

 

 

on the old snow shovel cherry blossoms

 

 

 

 

 

during discussion
on the meaning of life the crunch
of a student’s apple

 

George Swede

from Almost Unseen (Brooks Books, 2000)

Imagine you’re a geek-dude weblogger really into metadata,

and you want to impress a sweet young thing.

 

    You say:

“My site reviews the best

sites that filter sites that pick

up RSS feeds from sites about

Gourd Pottery.”

How does your heart’s desire respond? 

 

Jen Sorensen, of Slowpoke Comics fame, knows. 

Click to find out the answer.  You’ll have to decide

for yourself whether this is a match made in cyber-

heaven.

“Tiny check” Then, click to see the all four

“Maladies of the Information Age,”

which include– in addition to Meta-

mania — Googlitis, Archivaholism,

and Compulsive News Binging.

 

   Slowpoke is one more reason I always

   pick up my weekly Metroland.

 

  Those who came here for socially-significant

and/or legal issues, should check out I/P lawyer

Paul Rapp’s column “Irreconcilable Differences,”

which applauds French efforts to force ”every

maker and distributor of digital media to make

details of copy-protection schemes available to

competitors, and to force interoperability among

digital formats.” (Metroland, Volume 29 - Number

13 - March 30, 2006)

 

 

update (March 31, 2006): The thoughtful Editor of Blawg Review

sends along this cautionary tale: The Man She Forgot to Google..

 

blind date tomorrow –
will she
Yahoo! me tonight?

 

         dagosan at simply senryu

 

                                                                                       

For most of my adult life (including college days and a dozen years

practicing law), Washington, D.C., was my home.   I often miss my

many good friends in the DC Area.   In Springtime, however, two

events — the blooming of the cherry blossoms and of the azaleas —

make me yearn to be physically back there, amidst priceless and

wordless beauty (update 9 PM: like Mira and Elana).

 

national park service

so far away -

cherry blossoms and the smile

that humbles them

 

         dagosan

Washingtonians are celebrating their National Cherry Blossom Fesitval 

from March 25 through April 9.  According to the National Park Service,

today (March 30th) is the expected Peak Bloom day – ”the day in which

70 percent of the blossoms of the Yoshino Cherry (Prunus x yedoensis)

trees are open.” You can read the history of Washington’s cherry trees,

originally a gift in 1912 from the people of Japan, here. 

The Washington Post has a video, “A Day

Among the Cherry Blossoms”, March 26, 2006, for

those who would like to dally.  Read about the

Festical here.

 

among cherry blossoms
a long stay
in this world

 

    Issa,

      translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

 

   anne marie williams

   2006 NCBF Art Winner

 

The blooming period of cherry blossoms can last as long as

14 days.   The contrast of the beauty and the impermanence of

the blossoms have long made them the perfect subject for haiku

(and for zen philosophers).

 

Last month, we featured poems from the Vancouver Cherry Blossom

Festival’s Haiku Invitational Contest.    Here are a pair of Vancouver

winners from two of f/k/a’s Honored Guests:

 

 ”VCBFLogo”

 

 

distant thunder
a few cherry blossoms
float to earth

 

 

 

 

just blossoming
we meet under
the cherry tree
 

 

 

     w.f. owen

 

 

 

                                                

 

 

 

cherry blossoms
the tug tug tug
of baby’s hand

 

 

 

 

 

 

morning mist
a bent back sweeps
yesterday’s blossoms

 

roberta beary

 

Cherry blossoms are so cherished in Japan, that any poem

mentioning “blossoms” with no further designation, is regarded

as being about cherry blossoms.  Our beloved kobayashi issa

wrote thousands of haiku about cherry blossoms.  Go here for

several dozen.

 

“BlossomBrachF”

 

Cherry blossoms can evoke quite a few different emotions and

insights.  Issa, along with his translator David G. Lanoue, shares

a few of his with us:

 

mountain cherry blossoms–
the pine trees
stand guard

 

 

 

 

 

mountain cherry blossoms–
hair decoration
for a bald man

 

 

“blossomsDC”

 

 

sunset–
a ruckus in the cherry blossoms
a ruckus in the trout stream

 

 

 

pulling up
his fishhook he looks…
at cherry blossoms!

 

 

 

 

hey cherry blossoms–
why the rush
to scatter so soon?

 

 

 

 

evening cherry blossoms–
the devil is moved
to tears

 

 

 

“BlossomBrach”

 

 

growing old–
even the cherry blossoms
a bit annoying

 

 

 

 

 

even while walking
through cherry blossoms…
nagging!

 

 

the roof sweeper
stands still…
evening cherry blossoms

 

 

 

 

 

 

the buck looks
at cherry blossoms…
shedding his horns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edo’s cherry blossoms, too
shine only
for money

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

world of pain–
and the cherry blossoms
add to it!

 

 

 

 

the great lord
forced off his horse…
cherry blossoms

 

 

Issa,

translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

 No matter what kind of blossoms you have where you live,

take a little time to experience them — or the Blossom Police

might be knocking at your door.

 

                                                                                                                    

 

Yesterday, Robert Ambrogi pointed to yet another study — this time,  

The City & Guilds Happiness Index from UK — showing how unhappy

lawyers are with their jobs.  In general, vocational workers seem happier

than professionals.  The factors that seem to create satisfaction are being 

able to meet lots of different people and “feeling appreciated.”  According 

to the Study: 

  “Top of the list of reasons for feeling unhappy in their jobs is

feeling stressed (55 per cent) and feeling underpaid (35 per cent).”

From f/k/a’s perspective, lawyers in the USA and UK, seem to stress prestige

and income far too much — causing them to choose the most stressful jobs,

with the highest demands on their time — and far too often feel under-respected,

underappreciated and underpaid. 

 

surprising the worker
in the field…
out-of-season blooms

 

  

 

growing old–
by the hearth’s light
piecework

 

Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

As Evan Schaeffer suggests today, we do this to ourselves, by buying into

the Big Lie that Big Law is the only true source of success in our profession.

Partners make it worse by insisting on higher and higher PPP (profits per

partner) — see Adam Smith Esq for analysis, and MorePartnerIncome 

for the pathology, in action.   However, as Prof. Patrick Schiltz, Steven Keeva,

and the f/k/a Gang (repeatedly) have pointed out, the greed of young lawyers

feeds into the process, making it virtually impossible to cure on a systemic

basis. 

 

All is not lost.  As we said in 2003:

                                                                                            

In many ways, our profession is in such a sorry state because law

schools and firms have adopted and perpetuated [perpetrated?] lowest-

common-denominator values (mostly driven by greed and made worse

by pretension), and because individual attorneys have gladly or blindly

embraced those values.   Too many lawyers have then decided to live

with, and made excuses for, the intolerable consequences.   That’s the

bad news.  The good news is that individuals can choose better values

in order to give better career advice, change institutions, or make cor-

rections in their lives.  

We each can, with courage and “sacrifice”, take charge of our own life and

happiness.  Wanting less money and needing less prestige will go a long way

toward nurturing healthy and happy attitudes.

 

p.s.  The UK Happiness Index had a finding that might surprise a lot

of lawyers (and their significant others): They came in 6th, out of 28

careers for their Work/Life Balance rating.  Bankers came in last place.

That should remind us that finding a satisfactory balance is not a unique

curse for our profession. We made a related point last October, in con-

nection with Take Back Your Time Day:

 

      Of course, lawyers love to see themselves as especially  

overworked, over-stressed, and beset by life balance issues —

and far too many are.  I just want to point out that a very large

percentage of adults (and children) in our nation feels the same

pressures.  

Not to (unduly) belabor the obvious, that balance could be shifted in the

right direction if our income goals (and quotas) were reduced.

 

 

 

visiting the dog’s grave

then away!

grasshopper

 

 

 

“KiteN”

 

the baby mosquito

tries out

his nose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

living dangerously

the kite skims

the river

 

 

 

dead by drowning

in the deep cup

gnat

 

David G. Lanoue

“visiting” & “baby mosquito” - the novel Dewdrop World (free download)

“living” & “dead” - from his novel The Laughing Buddha

 

In another update to our wordless Italian post, we wonder why a conser-

vative “American jurist” is citing a foreign source in a Letter to the Editor.  On the 

merits, we ask:

 Did Nino move those fingers slowly, or with the rapid,

single motion that is far more insulting (and one might

deem obscene)?  

                                                                                                                “KiteG”

                                                                                                              

Yesterday, Robert Ambrogi pointed to yet another study — this time,  

The City & Guilds Happiness Index from UK — showing how unhappy

lawyers are with their jobs.  In general, vocational workers seem happier

than professionals.  The factors that seem to create satisfaction are being 

able to meet lots of different people and “feeling appreciated.”  According 

to the Study: 

  “Top of the list of reasons for feeling unhappy in their jobs is

feeling stressed (55 per cent) and feeling underpaid (35 per cent).”

From f/k/a’s perspective, lawyers in the USA and UK, seem to stress prestige

and income far too much — causing them to choose the most stressful jobs,

with the highest demands on their time — and far too often feel under-respected,

underappreciated and underpaid. 

 

surprising the worker
in the field…
out-of-season blooms

 

  

 

growing old–
by the hearth’s light
piecework

 

Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

As Evan Schaeffer suggests today, we do this to ourselves, by buying into

the Big Lie that Big Law is the only true source of success in our profession.

Partners make it worse by insisting on higher and higher PPP (profits per

partner) — see Adam Smith Esq for analysis, and MorePartnerIncome 

for the pathology, in action.   However, as Prof. Patrick Schiltz, Steven Keeva,

and the f/k/a Gang (repeatedly) have pointed out, the greed of young lawyers

feeds into the process, making it virtually impossible to cure on a systemic

basis. 

 

All is not lost.  As we said in 2003:

                                                                                            

In many ways, our profession is in such a sorry state because law

schools and firms have adopted and perpetuated [perpetrated?] lowest-

common-denominator values (mostly driven by greed and made worse

by pretension), and because individual attorneys have gladly or blindly

embraced those values.   Too many lawyers have then decided to live

with, and made excuses for, the intolerable consequences.   That’s the

bad news.  The good news is that individuals can choose better values

in order to give better career advice, change institutions, or make cor-

rections in their lives.  

We each can, with courage and “sacrifice”, take charge of our own life and

happiness.  Wanting less money and needing less prestige will go a long way

toward nurturing healthy and happy attitudes.

 

p.s.  The UK Happiness Index had a finding that might surprise a lot

of lawyers (and their significant others): They came in 6th, out of 28

careers for their Work/Life Balance rating.  Bankers came in last place.

That should remind us that finding a satisfactory balance is not a unique

curse for our profession. We made a related point last October, in con-

nection with Take Back Your Time Day:

 

      Of course, lawyers love to see themselves as especially  

overworked, over-stressed, and beset by life balance issues —

and far too many are.  I just want to point out that a very large

percentage of adults (and children) in our nation feels the same

pressures.  

Not to (unduly) belabor the obvious, that balance could be shifted in the

right direction if our income goals (and quotas) were reduced.

 

 

 

visiting the dog’s grave

then away!

grasshopper

 

 

 

“KiteN”

 

the baby mosquito

tries out

his nose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

living dangerously

the kite skims

the river

 

 

 

dead by drowning

in the deep cup

gnat

 

David G. Lanoue

“visiting” & “baby mosquito” - the novel Dewdrop World (free download)

“living” & “dead” - from his novel The Laughing Buddha

 

In another update to our wordless Italian post, we wonder why a conser-

vative “American jurist” is citing a foreign source in a Letter to the Editor.  On the 

merits, we ask:

 Did Nino move those fingers slowly, or with the rapid,

single motion that is far more insulting (and one might

deem obscene)?  

                                                                                                                “KiteG”

                                                                                                              

Looking for punditry?  Keeping scrolling down the page (check

this update, if you’re wondering about goombahs and Scalias),

and come back later.  Right now, I need to enjoy a gorgeous

upstate New York spring day.

 

michael dylan welch shared his Thornewood hiking

experience with one-breath poetry:

 

 

a red berry on the trail

I look up

to the chickadee’s song  

 

 

 

 

first on the trail—

the pull of a spider’s strand

across my face

 

 

 

 

 

 

a switch-back

in the trail—

I glance at her face

 

a climbing pea

has lassoed a blade

of crab grass! 

 

 

 

 

 

trail dust settles—

a shooting star bobs

over a spider’s turret

 

 

 

 

 

 

a mushroom cap

tilting in the sun—

I feel for my bald spot 

 

 

 

 

 

new shoots

on the big-leaf maple—

how blue the sky, how blue

 

 

Michael Dylan Welch from Thornewood Poems

at Captain Haiku’s Secret Hangout.

 

 

“welchSeal32″

lit by the sunset

waves along the shore

rolling the seal’s body

 

  haiku & photo from Open Window

    by Michael Dylan Welch

 

                                                                                                                              

 

Looking for punditry?  Keeping scrolling down the page (check

this update, if you’re wondering about goombahs and Scalias),

and come back later.  Right now, I need to enjoy a gorgeous

upstate New York spring day.

 

michael dylan welch shared his Thornewood hiking

experience with one-breath poetry:

 

 

a red berry on the trail

I look up

to the chickadee’s song  

 

 

 

 

first on the trail—

the pull of a spider’s strand

across my face

 

 

 

 

 

 

a switch-back

in the trail—

I glance at her face

 

a climbing pea

has lassoed a blade

of crab grass! 

 

 

 

 

 

trail dust settles—

a shooting star bobs

over a spider’s turret

 

 

 

 

 

 

a mushroom cap

tilting in the sun—

I feel for my bald spot 

 

 

 

 

 

new shoots

on the big-leaf maple—

how blue the sky, how blue

 

 

Michael Dylan Welch from Thornewood Poems

at Captain Haiku’s Secret Hangout.

 

 

“welchSeal32″

lit by the sunset

waves along the shore

rolling the seal’s body

 

  haiku & photo from Open Window

    by Michael Dylan Welch

 

                                                                                                                              

 

Where were the Dignity Police when we really needed them? Justice Antonin Scalia, who apparently couldn’t bother to act to protect purportedly undignified pitbull lawyer ads, is certainly willing to act like a tasteless goombah in public — and right outside of a church, “Minutes after receiving the Eucharist at a special Mass” for Catholic lawyers. See Boston Herald, “Judicia