f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

Since 2006 began, I’ve been forgetting to update my favorite SideBar feature —

The Inadvertent Searchee.  In a week when your Editor has been accused of being

old and over the hill, intellectually lazy, and — gasp! — a writer of both gibberish and

poetry, I’m happy to make up for that neglect with a few new entries.  They suggest

that the major search engines like us a lot more than p/i lawyers do:

 

weblog culture>  #1 and #2 of 44,500,000 Google results went to our page

on Weblog Culture & Ethics page.

 

 

As for legal profession issues dear to our heart and important

to consumers:

lawyer client self fool> We had the #2 and #3 of 1.6 million results in this

Google query.  In one post, we spoke of George Fool in the Forest Wallace and

self-regulation on the same page.  In the other, we quoted a NYSBA brochure

that was discouraging self-help by consumers. Google should have featured

our quote from Edward Day Parsons:

“He who pleads his own case may have a fool for a client; but it’s

more probable that he who employs a lawyer will have a knave for

an attorney.”

 

lawyer value billing>  The first two results out of 17 million in this Google search.

came from f/k/a (the internet’s lone voice of caution on this issue). For example,

see Value Billing and Legal Ethics — honest, guys, clients want to pay less,

not more, in lawyer fees when they seek better value.

 

                                                                                               not  

 

 

What Is An Appropriate Contingency Fee> The first two of nearly 4 million results 

for this crucial Google query were here and here at f/k/a (despite the insults of a

certain dignified p/i lawyer).  Now, if only the good-guy tort lawyers would read

up and take it too heart.

 

 

lawyer telling clients when they are damned fools> The first two of almost half a

million Google results came from f/k/a, for this very important concept.  We

were quoting Sol Sol Linowitz‘s book Betrayed Profession:   

“Elihu Root . . . put the matter more simply: ‘About

half the practice of a decent lawyer,’ he once said,

‘consists in telling would-be clients that they are

damned fools and should stop.’

 

“Today there are too few lawyers who see it as

part of their function to tell clients (especially new

clients) that they are damned fools and should stop:

Any such statement would interfere with the marketing

program. The public pays, because the rule of law is

diminished.”

 

fiduciary obligations of attorneys> #1 of 2.5 million Google results, on

a topic that doesn’t get enough discussion in the legal profession, was

this post, which focused on the obligation to better inform clients when

setting fees. 

 

Of course, some of the search engine results seem to be a bit inadvertent

(or inauspicious):

 

haiku perspiration> #4 of 15,000 in the Google search,

which lets me repeat the poem in question from my alter 

ego dagosan:

perspiration rolls

across flat abs —

her innie

 

 

Stop buying expensive coffee and save>  #3 of 3.8 million Google results

 was our commentary about law students spending far too much on luxuries

and adding needlessly to their law school debt.  (Sometimes, we sound like

old fuddy-duddiesaround here.)

 

                                                                                             

 

 

how big is a F cup> #1 of almost 9 million Yahoo! search results.

As usual, old Master Issa is the culprit (along with the “f” in our name):

evening

in a big sake cup.

moon and a flea

 

We were only the 9th result for men with spiked hair>, but it’s a good

excuse to re-post two ed markowski follicle poems:

 

           late day showers…

                   my hair gel

                      reactivates

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                       winter pines…

                             the ski instructor’s

                                  spiked hair

 

 

 

          ed markowski 

 

owen wilson erection in speedo> –  Yesterday, we were #1 out of 309 in this

Yahoo query.    That’s what I get for featuring the book Taboo Haiku. Go here

to see the provoking poems.  [Oddly, the same Yahoo! search today doesn’t

even show f/k/a in the top 40.  Talk about inconsistent performance.]

 

 

update (5 PM, March 24):  I don’t know who’s looking up halloween sex> in

March, but our post on pols vs. sex offenders was the #2 result out of 5.3 million

in a Yahoo! Search today.  Meanwhile, our own attempts to find out more about

the Smith v. Peterson “early bather” case, revealed that the f/k/a post of the subject

is the #1 result when Googling “Sheldon Smith” lawyer>.

 

just one glass of wine

Google keeps asking

“Did you mean _____?”

 

 

blind date tomorrow —

will she

Yahoo! me tonight?

 

 

 

   dagosan