Comments on: let’s not overlook the death of Melissa Batten

By: David Giacalone

David Giacalone — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:23:14 +0000

You are very welcome. Thank you for taking the time to leave an important message. Losing a sibling in this way must hurt terribly and I can only offer this feeble demonstration of sympathy.

By: Ellen-Missy's Sister

Ellen-Missy's Sister — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:10:16 +0000

I wanted to say “Thank-you” for taking the time to bring this tragedy to the forefront of the legal community. It is so important that people know how prevalent Domestic Violence is in our society. I try to stress to people that it knows no financial boundaries and it can move from mental abuse for years to murder in days. Missy had told me shortly before he murdered her that once she was able to get her life back in order she intended to work with domestic violet shelters to help raise money, give support and/or whatever she could do. Thank-you again for your help! This world has lost a truely bright light. We miss her more than words can express.

By: David Giacalone

David Giacalone — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:48:41 +0000

You make a good point, Jim, and one that I’ve made in the past in connection with many causes and interest groups — and in the related context of the misinformation about the Super Bowl and domestic violence. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that domestic violence leaves far too many people living in fear, badly injured, or murdered. And, that far too many lovers and spouses — especially men — use intimidation to try to control a relationship.

By: Jim In SF

Jim In SF — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:28:54 +0000

The problem with stats like 1 in 4, lumping in so-called “emotional abuse” and “verbal abuse,” is that you take the meaning away from the word abuse altogether.

When you lump yelling at someone or emotional blackmail or other non-violent acts in with violence (who hasn’t had a yelling match with a spouse or girl/boyfriend?), you not only cause people to question the statistic, you cheapen the word and the concept of abuse so much as to cause people to question and fail to stop the violence.

People overuse the word “abuse” in an attempt to gain an emotional lever, but a side effect is that anyone who has ever done anything that could be construed as abusive under the broadest possible definition (let alone been inappropriately accused of being abusive) stops listening when the hear the word after that.

By: David Giacalone

David Giacalone — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:40:10 +0000

Thanks for writing, Ms. M. I hope and believe that the one in four number includes verbal and emotional abuse (which is bad enough), but there are a shockingly high number of cases of physical abuse.

I have seen no information suggesting that Ms. Batten was experiencing domestic violence before becoming a public defender. As a public defender in DV Cout, she might have been representing accused abusers.

By: msmarmitelover

msmarmitelover — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:24:00 +0000

I believe the statistics are something like 1 in 4 women are victims of domestic violence. It was certainly my experience when I was once (fortunately briefly) in a similar position. I was shocked at how many women, when I talked about what had happened to me, had suffered. It crosses age, class, race barriers.
Did this woman become a domestic violence lawyer because she was already in that situation and had sympathy? Because it is always easier to stick up for others than yourself?