The Inadvertant Searchee (and the Katydid)
night in the hut
searching on the shelf
. . . katydid
<unemployed “law graduate” -Farhaan> #1 of 439 in this Google Search, although this weblog has not dealt with unemployed lawyers per se (not counting its Editor’s bio), unemployment came up in the comments and discussion of Bankruptcy and the Law Graduate. I wonder who/what “Farhaan” is?
<harvard law school constitutional law magician> #1 of 2160 in Yahoo! Search. A Rebecca Lilly haiku had the phrase “a child’s magician hat,” which brought Yahoo! to this website, but the query has piqued my always-curious interest. Despite following other search results, I found no good answer. Yes, Tenn. Criminal Court of Appeals Judge John Everett Williams “is a master magician and enjoys performing for local schools and charities,” but he seems to had no webpage connection with constitutional law or Harvard.And, although I discovered an article titled “Constitutional Interpretation: Art of the Historian, Magician or Statesman,” its venerable author, Walter F. Murphy is a Princeton professor., and the article was in the Yale Law Journal. Let me know, if you have a theory of the query.
<lincoln law practice> #1 of 226,000 in Yahoo! Search. This is a pleasing result, with the search engine finding the most-linked posting in the history of this URL.
<how plants move> #23 in Google Search 2,700,00. I never took botany (or any college science courses), but a post titled “some plants move in” brought ths modest search result, and introduced a Jim Kacian haiku:empty housesome nameless plantshave moved in<rain soft system complaints> #2 of 19,000 results in msn.com search. Blame this high visibility spot to an essay that claimed the lawyer disciplinary system is still “too slow, too secret, too soft,” and doesn’t investigate enough complaints — plus, a haiku on autumn rain.
<how to find if you are being blackballed or red flagged by a previous employer> #1 of 1,930 in an Ask Jeeves search, due to our post on the connection between clergy-abuse survivor groups and plaintiffs’ lawyers who represent abuse victims. It discusses whether donations to the groups by law firms were made to promote referrals or prevent blackballing.
<F.D.A.> #51 of 45,300,000 results in a Yahoo! Search. I mention this result, because the search engine noted that “The following words were ignored in your query because they are too common: “D”, “A” .” That means the query came down to searching for “F.” Given a universe of “f”s out there, coming in 56 — sandwiched between John F.Kennedy and John F. Kerry — is pretty darn impressive.
<new jack the wrestler getting arrested> #2 of 23,600 in Yahoo! Search. I guess the querist was looking for LoneWolfWrestling.com. We hit #2, due to a haiku about a “defeated wrestler” and a posting about parents hiring Lawyer Mango to protect their arrested children.<parking ticket / help> #2 of 1.2 million in Yahoo! Search. One little post questioning the usefulness of Parking Ticket.com‘s services produced a result right under that company’s webpage result.
<barbie+criticism> #5 of 72,000 in Yahoo! Search. Sorry, Barb, we were just discussing haiku and the Fair Use Doctrine.
<president haiku> #3 and 4 of 63,900 in a Google Search. Following this referral brought me to the presidential haiku website, which offers an array of truly mediocre to really dreadful haiku about our Presidents.
<amputee women> #331 of 97,000 in Google (German) search. #331 is quite high enough, Danke.<“haiku glossary“> #1 and 2 in a Google Search, and ##2 through 6, plus #10, in a Yahoo! Search — all referencing the glossary in Jim Kacian’s serialized Haiku Primer. Search engines love weblogs!
<tacky websites> #3 in this Google search. Well, was I fer ‘em, ag’in’ ‘em, or one of ‘em? We did ask once whether weblog ads by lawyers were tacky, and that got us the high ranking.
- Our design and artistry staff were disgruntled to see another top search result proclaiming that “Clipart tends to look a bit tacky on websites.” Just for that, we’re not going to mention the offending website creation firm by name.
<Topics to put your two cents in> #5 of 80,000+ in msn search. A Hat Tip to the departed Jack Cliente, who would have been the first to ask what the heck the querist was hoping to find.<pit bull bites> #2 of about 12,000 in msn search. Ours was just a logo doggie, so the number 2 slot seems high, given all the press pit bull bites have gotten in the past few years.<new jersey and “bona fide office”> #1 in Yahoo! Search of 250 for one post on the subject — beating out the NJ high court, bar associations, etc. Weblogs sure do get a boost from the major search engines.<“alternative billing” +lawyers> #28 in Google search. Wouldn’t you know that the one time we have really tried to get near the top on a search topic, it just isn’t working. [Note why we’re concerned here – alternative billing: how soon they forget .] We tried other formulations, but aren’t satisfied with the results:<“alternative billing” +legal> #15 in Google search<“value billing” +lawyers> #27 in Google searchOnly when the subject of ethics is introduced to this topic, does f/k/a shine: <“value billing” +”legal ethics”> #2 and #3 in Google search. Kinda makes my point about what’s missing when the legal profession discusses alternative or value billing.<undressed+girls+photo+teen> Sorry, but #19 of 37,600 in this Yahoo! Search is too high, for an innocent weblog with a doctor’s office poem, and a blurb on the Olsens. Through the timelessness of the Internet, however, we can never get those clothes back on.<law periodical “Driving While Distracted”> #1 through 4 of 4, thanks to dagosan’s haiku ” almost dusk. driving while distracted. by tree after tree” (02-23-04). I hope the searcher also finds my vents about drivers distracted by their cellphones. A better search query might have been <law +”Driving While Distracted ” site:.edu>. Saying “periodical” truncated the results greatly.<“David giacalone” haiku> #1, 2, and 10 of 1400 in Google Search. Okay.<Florida bar’s position on blogs> #1 and #2 in Google search out of 73. Hmm. Although the Fla. Bar has come under scrutiny at this URL, we’ve never talked about this topic (and apparently neither had the FBA).<Scheherazade lawyer> #3 and #4 of over 3000 in Google Search. This is nice company.<Something Bad Has Begun> #4 of 333,000 in Google Search. We mentioned the L.A. Times op/ed piece with this title by the former Cat Stevens, but so did thousands of others.
<lawyer discipline> #1 of 53,000 in Yahoo! Search. What ever happened to that gadfly ethicalEsq?!<lawyers in love lyric> #1 of 53,400 in Yahoo! Search. We did talk about this subject on Valentine’s day and mentioned Jackson Browne’s lyrics, but one of the many sites devoted directly to Mr. Browne, should have been on top.<Boston bar cheap> we were #10 out of more than a million results in Google Search — and this is a good example of the need to construct better queries. The Boston Bar Association came in #1 and #2, and the Best of Citysearch 2003: Cheap Eats in Boston was #3 and #4. Click through on #3, please.<pout group discussion> #2 and #3 of 12,000 in google search — thanks to a combination of my “discussion group” page and dagosan’s haikua good pout.rudely interruptedby impatiensI’m afraid we might hit #1, after commenting on Pres. Bush’s pouting at the first Debate.
<sexual relations with clients> #2 in Yahoo! Search of 293,000 — just behind the guidelines for psychotherapists on depressionnet.com Naturally, we were taling about lawyers.<the sunday squeeze> #1 and #2 in Google Search of 270,000. I am not sure if the searcher want the Squeeze record album, but a romantic haiku about two millipedes (and a lot of legs) topped the result list.<defamation blogs> #1 and #2 in Google Search of 15,100. Hey, is that libel! All I did was describe the “so-called lawyer” defamation lawsuit.<law school haiku> #1 and #2 in Google search. Expected, but gratifying.<blog jargon> #3 of 74,800 in Google Search (ahead of NetLingo’s Online Jargon Glossary and Berkeley’s Glossary of Internet and Web Jargon. This is a suprising result, despite my slight obsession over the ungainliness of weblog jargon. Blame it on my essay: Does Blog Jargon Turn Off Outsiders?<“ghosts who kill“> Would I want to meet the querist? Hard to believe that f/k/a could turn out #1 of 309,000 in this Google Search. I did fret that “Ghosts Will Kill the Legal Weblog Community” back in February. For the curious: result number two is a news story about cellphones killing ghosts (as if killing other drivers weren’t enough).<slurs against Guyanese> #3 of 87 in Google Search, because of a mention — in a post on Brown v. Bd. of Ed — of ethic slurs in Schenectady aimed at its growing Guyanese community.<BIG SOUTH FORK CABIN> #1 and #2 of 83 in msn Search, due to a haiku about an empty cabin and a blurb on greedy South Texas guardians ad litem. The apparent intended searchee came in third, Big South Fork Log Cabin, who are trying to make a living renting their quaint rooms.
<objection to self discipline> #1 of 201,000 of Yahoo! search. Well, it depends what you mean by self-discipline.<haiku syllable myth> #1 and #2 in Yahoo! Search of 931. Given our goal to correct the “myth-understanding” about needing 17 syllables, this is very satisfying.<Stanley Fish New York times Friday September> This op/ed piece by Dean Fish was published and linked everywhere, so our little post coming in #3 of 99,400 is a fairly surprising result in this Yahoo! Search [the NYT itself came in 6th]<passive lying of lawyers> #1 of 37,000 for a UK Google search. Sure, but are we for it or blogs.law.harvard.edu it?<ethics of Contingency fees> #1 in Google Search out of 30,000. Not bad, for a weary, retired ethicalEsq. Are you paying attention, ATLA?<haiku caesura ellipses> Sounds pretty high-falutin, but we were #2 in this Google search — thanks solely to the erudition of the venerable Jim Kacian.
<ethics of bariatrics> f/k/a came in a big fat #1 of 60 in this msn search, after we listed “bariatrics” as one word we hadn’t used in our Bar vs. Bard post. Maybe its my confusion over barium enemas, but I never would have guessed that bariatrics is the medical specialty that deals with obesity.<antitrust principles do’s and don’t’s> My friends at the American Antitrust Institute certainly won’t like the fact that f/k/a placed #1 of 19 in this Google Search (thanks to our Assigned Counsel Don’t’s & Do’s), and AAI wan’t even on the list.
< “Little Conversation”> The querist in Mexico might have been a bit disoriented, after clicking on the #1 link to f/k/a (out of 27,100 results) and landing at our post Internet Lawsites Encounter the Profession’s Guild Mentality.
<a holiday without my parents at home> #7 of 1,770,00 in Yahoo Search. Are our schools teaching students how to phrase a search query? None of the top ten results in this search appear to be on point. Next time, kids, try something like <holiday +”parents away”> .
<we was robbed> No, it wasn’t the Democrats whining about the 2000 presidential election at the top of this list. f/k/a was #1 out of 363,000 in this Google search, due to a post with that title that featured a screaming Lady Liberty picture after the Munch painting theft.
<mosquito butterfly litigation> #1 of 221 in Google search. We didn’t know about the mosquito litigation, we were just posting Issa haiku.
<Lawyers day> Result #2 on Page 1 of 205,334 pages. See our May 1, 2004 post, Law Day, Not Lawyers’ Day.
<comparing thoreau to martin luther king -essay> Pretty classy company — yielding result #4 in this Yahoo! Search, after we complained that some lawyers wanted to break laws and rules without consequences, and were thus Giving Civil Defense a Bad Name.
<wholely> #1 of 11,2000 in a Google Search. I used this word in the title of Wholely Daze of Blogligation, memorialzing Glenn Reynold’s advice to avoid making weblogging into work. Being the first result in this Google query is more than surprising — wholely out of whack, don’t you think?. Maybe the searcher was looking for Dennis Wholely, whose website came in 4th?
<how to make false I.D.s>. Here’s a little more proof that weblogs with a few links get undue weight in Google Searches: Based on one silly post – Aging Up: False IDs for the AARP Crowd — f/k/a shows up as #1 of 263,000 results in this Google Search.
<“the simpsons” lawyers> #3 of 18,400 in Google Search This result made me smile. See the instigating post, The Simpsons and the Lawyers.
<declaring bankruptcy from oversees> 8th result of about 18,000 in this Google search that originated in Canada, thanks to discussing Bankruptcy and the Law Graduate. Sorry, Searcher Dude, I can’t help and I know nothing about extradition laws, either.
<if’s or but’s> #1 of over 56,000 in Google Search, due to our post last May: no if’s or but’s, we’re staying (and maybe our former editor, Prof. Yabut). I bet the querist was looking for an explanation of the popular idiom. Well, maybe.
<tacky lawyers> #2 of 9200 in Google Search. Our post on weblog ads won us this dubious honor. In the first slot, however, is a personal injury lawyer from New Orleans, who would like far fewer tacky p/i lawyer ads. — David Band‘s “Don’t You Hate Personal Injury Lawyer Advertising – We Do Too!!! ethicalEsq sides with the 1st Am right of lawyers to be tacky, and trusts in the good sense of clients.
- A query of our own: Did lawyer Band really want us to know that he graduated “top 2/3 of class” from Tulane U. School of Law in 1970?
<passive liar> #1 of 21,500 in Google Search, from the dialogue and the post Ethics for the Web? Lean Don’t Lie. A surprising, but satisfying, placement on a topic dear to ethicalEsq.
<boycott violation antitrust> #1 of 14,700 in Yahoo Search and <FTC v. Superior Court Trial Lawyers Assn.> #1 and #5 of 389 in Yahoo! Search. I wanted the webworld to know about antitrust law and assigned counsel boycotts, and I sure can’t complain about these search results (real-world results may differ!).
<name change lawyers in Manila> #22 of 35,1000 in Google Search. Your Editor has never helped a client change his or her name, nor practices law in Manila. Of course, this weblog has changed names a few times, talked about changing lawyer behavior, and utilized a pseudonym or three.
<jargon [sic]> #1 of 26,000 in Google search, thanks to the BloggerCon-inspired essay “Does Blog Jargon Turn Off Outsiders?” I have no idea what the “[sic]” is all about.<jack f—? cade> #2 and #3 of 21,700 in this aol.uk search, which pulled up our discussion of Jack Cade, Dick the Butcher and their role in Shakespeare’s dialogue on killing all the lawyers. But, this backtracking rewarded me with a new bit of trivia — the querist was apparently not seeking attorney asassins, but rather was instead searching for the medical research scientist Jack F. Cade, who discovered that lithium could be used in treating manic depression.<mass bar advocates> landed f/k/a in #1 and #7 slots out of 277,000 results, in a Yahoo! Search, and <serial class action objectors> yielded #1 & #3 positions out of 1430 in another Yahoo! search — two nice results on topics of special interests to ethicalEsq.<filing and “false bar complaint”> Landing in first place in a Yahoo! inquiry on this topic is only a little suprising — but being #1 out of only 1 result is a shock. sunEthics, who we were citing needs to work on its search engine optimizing.<new york appellate supreme court ethics lawyers> Coming in #2 of 7551 in this msn search is quite satisfying, since only Cornell Legal Information Institute placed better. It does make one wonder why far better-known and respected outlets aren’t being searched and retrieved.<deception tin men> Our #2 of 21,400 in this Google search again shows how well-positioned weblogs can be be. The Lawyers as Tin Men theme was only discussed one time at this site.<cowboy brand symbols> #15 of 38,300 results — my send-up on law firm branding earned me a hot position in this Yahoo! search, despite my lack of ranching experience.And, speaking of inexperience, the query <POUT AFTERGLOW> pulled up 1837 replies through a Yahoo Japan search, and we glowed into the 37th spot. A haiku about a pouting teen and another mentioning afterglow created the necessary link. Makes me wonder what the querist was seeking.
<Shakespeare on lawyers> #4 of 96,000 in a Google search, but please see my plea for better treatment from the big shot search engine dudes: Shakespeare and Lawyers and Google and I .
<teenyboppers undressed> Take a post complaining about teenybopper weblog jargon and a poem about a doctor’s visit, and an innocent little weblog turns up at #3 in this Ask Jeeves search.
<newspaper article on legal ethics> #1 of 338,000 Yahoo Search. This is more like it, as is <a few good grumps, curmudgeons> #3, just behind the article we were discussing. However,
<boycott buddha bar> ?? #1 of 2,220 in Google Search. This haijin thinks Buddha is pretty cool, it’s the bar advocate boycott that gets my dander up.
<f**k It> There were almost 96 million results from this Yahoo! Search, and f/k/a was in the 10th spot. I wonder if we’ll turn Eamon fans into haiku lovers.
<Robert A.Kugle attorney Mexico> <Robert A.Kugle attorney missing> I don’t know if lawyer Kugle is Googling himself from his hiding place in Mexico, or someone’s hoping to find him, but f/k/a keeps topping the search results. 1 0f 5 (beating out Overlawyered!!)
<The Nigerian Law school> Every day for weeks, there’s been a Google Search for this law school in Nigeria, and f/k/a is at or near the top out of 110,000+ results, thanks to our post dreaming of law school in Nigeria, in which we envied students enrolled in a one-year law school program.
<E&L lures> Looks like we’re again disappointing fishing fans — this time looking for a bass lure, I think. Our referencing E&L Today [Ethics and Lawyering Today ]while haiku-ing about the lure of a peeled tangerine, landed us in ## 1, 2, 3 and 4 out of only 8.
<SOUTH CAROLINA SUPREME COURT DISCIPLINARY, SANCTIONED, CENSURED, SUSPENDED ATTORNEY, LAWYER OPINIONS COMMISSION ON LAWYER CONDUCT> We came in 2nd and 3rd in response to this Yahoo! Search (due to They’re Indisposed to Disclose Lawyer Discipline). I’m frightened to think that it might have been a lawyer, judge, law clerk or law student who crafted this query.
A few surprises:
- <a good translator> #9 in Google search out with 1,350,000 returns, after an Aug. 28 post get a good translator.
- <non believer in all religions> #8 of 78,700 French Google Search. I think I mentioned this topic once!
- <nys lawyer discipline> #1 and #2 of 9,070 in Yahoo! Search, linking to an essay posted in June 2003 — beat out the courts, bar associations, etc.
A few satisfying results on topics dear to this Editor:
- <lawyer regulation blog> MSN search: #1 of 9480
- <+”let’s kill all the lawyers” +meaning> #2 of 1,000 in AltaVista Search, thanks to a piece debunking the legal profession’s distortion of Shakespeare’s words.
- <17 syllables 3 lines> #1 in MSN search with about 15605 results.
- <Deja ku haiku> #1 in Google search out of 428: setting the record straight on Haiku and the Fair use Doctrine
- <Dafur> #6 of 28,000 in Google-Startsiden-Websok Search — this one’s bittersweet (wish the media covered the topic more)
- <What is the purpose of Haiku?> #16 in Yahoo! Search with 113,000 results. Not bad for a new-comer.
A couple that made me smile:
- <weakend specials> #1 in aol Search [“did you mean weekend specials?”] Our whimsical/silly stuff is more special than weak
- <“george m wallace” attorney> #12 of 580 in Google Search — pretty disappointing, after all those plugs I’ve given my friend, the Fool in the Forest. [Being a curious guy, I Googled “Evan Schaeffer” and was pleased at my #9 position out of 4590.]
<1-800-IMMIGRATION> Our story about the the censuring of Wilens & Baker mentioned their 1-800 numbers, and earned us #5 placement in this aol search — even better than W&B, and it didn’t cost us anything.
<arnold girlie man> #18 of 110,000 in this Yahoo! Search. Who woulda guessed?
<starbucks hours> A story describing the Starbucks pro bono program and billable hours (but no shop schedules) landed f/k/a in place #12 of 628,000 results in a Yahoo! Search on Sept. 1st.
<contingency fee system> The power of weblogs! My harping on the problems of standard contingency fees produced a result of #1 in this Ask Jeeves inquiry.
<law schools that are easier to get into> A realistic law school prospect (or her parent?) put this question to Jeeves, and we came in #2 of 320,000 results.
<professor yabut> This time, we’re irked. How the heck could the home of Prof. Yabut come in #2 in this Google Search?! Well, Google’s new definition feature stuck in a site that defined the word “yabut.” Like, not fair. After playing around a bit, I was pleased to see that the query “Prof. Yabut” got us in our deserved #1 spot.
<new ethical porno> A legitimate news report about a porno-viewing driver (who was arrested a few blocks from my home) put me in the #1 spot in this Aug. 31st Yahoo! Search — out of 29,900 results. The wrong word can land ya in the wrong neighborhood, right Denise?.<Bar Admission AND Bankruptcy> I would never have guessed that two postings about Bankruptcy and Bar Admission (with a hot debate at Scheherazade’s place) would land this weblog in spots #1 and #2 (out of 120,000 returns) in this Yahoo! Search.<hogtied> — There have been a number of hits lately to last September’s posting on the (always exciting) Hyundai Horsepower class action settlement. Tracing back a search on Mama.com, date Aug. 30, 2004, and another on Aug. 29 from ixquick search, I discovered the reason: the Headline on the piece was Hyundai Horsepower Settlement Hogtied. I couldn’t get the ixquick numbers, but f/k/a came in #6 out of 29, in the Mama results — and we were totally surrounded by bondage website.<edwards spina malpractice> I haven’t discussed Sen. Edwards’ spina bifida lawsuits. Nonetheless, mentioning George Wallace’s post “Who You Gonna Call? John Edwards, Malpractice Insurance Trust Buster!” on the same day that I quoted Massachusetts high court Justice Spina (on bar advocate shortages) resulted in placing #11 in this Aug. 31 Yahoo! search.
<hungry legal bar> This search at Yahoo! on Aug. 29 pulled up 490,000 results, and f/k/a placed #1 and #3. The cause of the #1 result: In the “one-breath pundit” section, I had mentioned Bristol County Bar Advocates in one blurb, while saying to “Smile at ‘Chinese Menu’ ads – Legal Underground. (you won’t be hungry later)” in another. [aside: just what was this Searcher seeking?]<f/k/a> Yes, weblogging can yield good search-engine placement! You would expect a weblog called f/k/a.. to be retrieved in a Google search for that frequently-used acronym (“formerly known as”). But, that’s been our name for only three months, so I was surprised to see we’re the #1 result for “f/k/a”, out of 75,100 results. In second place, “Credit Suisse First Boston LLC, f/k/a Credit Suisse First Boston Corporation.”<writing and estimate for tree service> Call me TreeGuy. This weblog placed #11 of 308,000 in a Yahoo! Search on Aug., 29. Why? I had posted “Bad Estimate, Great Service” about my experience with Amazon.com, while this haiku was on my SideBar:almost duskdriving while distractedby tree after tree<pundit> As you know, this little word gets thrown around the blogosphere a lot. A Yahoo! search on August, 29, 2004, yielded 152 million results, with your humble, month-old “one-breath pundit” coming in at #95.<best sinking> I think the user of German Google was thinking fishing gear, when this term was queried. Grosse Uberraschung (“big surprise”) when f/k/a was #1 out of 718 results, thanks to my posting entitled “Posner At His Best Sinking Fleet’s Class Action Settlement.” Notice that “Fleet” completes the nautical theme. [hey, transblawg Margaret, could you loan me a couple umlauts?]<what is a catchy name for golf tournament> Who would have guessed that my little post on Cialis, Love Those Side Effects, would have been the #1 Ask.Jeeves result for this “catchy phrase” inquiry. Good thing they didn’t want to know about golf courses taking “more than four hours” to complete.using his nose
the dog searches