Lead, Kindly Light

Today was an exciting day.

Two of my “unchurched” friends from school agreed to join us (meaning another three of us who regularly go to church together) for church. As the pastor spoke, I prayed fervently for the two of them, L and B, praying that God would speak to their hearts, show them His love and goodness and power, and His desire to know them as His children. I prayed that their hearts would be open to receive His word, that His Spirit would flow to their souls and help them to realize that He is the very One that their hearts have been longing for all along. No one can fulfill us in the way that God can.

As this was all going on, I realized also that I have a heavy burden in my heart for my unsaved friends, and for unsaved people in general. I wish more people knew and could accept the Word of God as true and real, and that they could see and understand that the Creator of the universe also is the Creator of each of them — and that He loves them infinitely much, and so strongly desires that they would come to Him.

Our God is great, indeed, and He is mighty to save — so much so, that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay the price for all of our sins. For God, being a God of justice, could not simply let our wrongdoings go unpunished. But God, being a loving God, also wanted to spare US from having to pay the price ourselves. So He made His Son take the fall for us, and that is why it is through Jesus that we are saved from our sins. It is because of Jesus’s sacrifice that God can look at us as forgiven people, if we believe in Jesus as our Savior.

I was reminded again today of how beautiful the Gospel really is. God Almighty is generous, righteous, and absolutely holy. And He is huge — yet He still deigns to contend with us, his sinful creation. And He doesn’t just condescend to us; He walks with us and among us, and alongside us. Could there be any more real or moving example of compassion than that which God extends to us? My spirit is overcome at this moment as I reflect on the beauty of who God is, and His incredible, unimaginable demonstration of true love toward mankind.

I want my friends to know this joy, this overwhelming sense of worship for a supreme and loving God. I so deeply wish that God would claim each of them for His own, and sooner rather than later. And not just my friends — I also long for entire communities, and entire nations, to skip out on the empty lives that they otherwise would lead, and follow Jesus and serve Him into eternity.

It starts right here, though — and right around me. I may not have power to affect entire communities, let alone entire nations. But I can be a witness of the greatest gospel ever told to my friends and to the people in my immediate vicinity. That’s why I was SO excited when L and B agreed to go to church this weekend. I spend almost the entirety of every day with B while we’re studying for the bar, and L and I have been good friends ever since we met last summer. Next year, we’ll all be working at firms in the City, and doubtless meeting up from time to time… or maybe they’ll keep going to church!

Well…one step at a time. For now, suffice it to say that I again feel a renewed sense of purpose. Originally, I had planned to go home for the summer to study for the bar. Now, I am so very glad that I ended up staying here. It has provided more opportunities to share the gospel, more chances to develop and deepen relationships through which the love of Christ can be shared, and … none of this would be possible if I were at home.

Looking ahead to the next step, sometimes I worry about the implications of the route I’ve chosen. I wholeheartedly believe that I’m going down the road to which God has led me, but there are definitely moments when I question whether I’ll truly be happy down this road — or whether it will just be an act of sacrifice and obedience. Today I have renewed hope and joy in the belief that there is no better or safer or happier place to be, than that place to which God has called me to be. There may be rough patches along the way, tough adjustments to make, surprises in both good and bad form, but in the end — true fulfillment is only possible in the place of obedience.

Last night before bed, I took some time to journal — and I also looked back on past entries, dating back all the way to last September, a very different place in my life. I reread a lot of the prayer requests I extended throughout the fall and winter, and marveled at how now, in the middle of summer, I can see how a good number of those prayers were answered already. There are still some requests that remain open, obviously, but having seen the goodness of God’s faithfulness in other things was a big encouragement.

So I wrote a new entry last night, an ebenezer of sorts. In the way of background, in the Old Testament, Samuel raised a stone and named it Ebenezer (which literally in Hebrew means “Stone of Help”) to honor the Lord after Israel defeated the Philistines. Samuel raised the stone, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” In the same way, I made a list last night of all the major ways in which God has helped me through the last year. It was a long list.

Now, as I finish the bar exam and open a new chapter of life, I have a new starting point. With it, I have a new list of things that I desire and pray for — I list them here, as a public testimony of God’s power … for in the months ahead, I expect I shall have opportunity to see (and you, through this blog, may also see) how God answers in His good and perfect time. Reciting from a May 2008 entry, outlining a litany of requests for the phase ahead –

“Lord, thank You for Your great faithfulness to me. Please help me to remember and KNOW in my heart that You love me, and that You have all things, including my life, in Your control. Please help me to trust in you, and hold fast to You, love You, walk in Your ways, obey You, and serve You with my heart and soul.

“Please guide my future into the city and beyond. Please let me to a good solid church where I will grow and find a loving community; a good apartment that will be a suitable haven; and a good relationship with P (my roommate); a prison ministry in which I can regularly engage; friends, and friends like family; opportunities to serve You at work and show Your love to my co-workers; and clear direction re: career path; mentors at work and at church; health, for me and for my family; and patience for a life partner.

“I pray most of all that my heart would be devoted to You, that You would hang onto me, and grow me in Your grace and wisdom.”
Amen and amen, let it be so.