Home Is Where The Heart Dwells

May 12, 2009

Litigation about “Cao” (fuck) in China

Filed under: Joke, in Chinese, news, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 12:33 pm

上诉者语言粗俗被拘:获释再写5份申诉获受理

上诉者语言粗俗被拘:获释再写5份申诉获受理
在《现代汉语词典》里,对“操”字的解释,没有侮辱的意思。
上诉者语言粗俗被拘:获释再写5份申诉获受理
陈书伟穿着很个性,他坚信自己的公益诉讼能成功。

调查:你如何看待男子因上诉状写“操”字被拘?

大河报5月12日报道    深圳的陈书伟以惊世骇俗的方式表现他的公益诉讼(本报于2006年11月和今年5月1日、7日曾有报道)。近年来,在陈书伟和广大电信用户的努力下,电信管理部门出台了一系列法规和制度,全国约8亿手机用户因此受益。

被释放后立即写申诉书 (more…)

May 8, 2009

Joke of the Day

Filed under: In English, Joke, in Chinese, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 12:27 pm

大陆油画《与但丁讨论神曲》描绘了这样一个图景:毛泽东位于全画中心;成吉思汗与拿破仑并立;乔治布殊手持望远镜;拉登站在他身后;东条英机跪在秦始皇面前;斯大林和达·芬奇谈话;普京挨着泰森席地而坐;撒切尔夫人背着手提袋,神情高傲地注视着一切。

据说台湾某地把太上老君、释迦牟尼、弥勒佛、耶稣、基督(不是笔误,该处认为耶稣、基督是分开的两位,不是一位)、保生大帝、孔子、默罕默德、狐仙、夜叉、金刚等通通塑像供奉起来,称为万教宫。

这幅《与但丁讨论神曲》与万教宫可谓有异曲同工之妙。

放大

关于万教宫,参见抗议台湾万教宫的耶稣与基督像

April 21, 2009

Quote of the day: on “Chinese need regulation”

Filed under: Joke, in Chinese, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 6:30 pm

人民需要的是被服务而不是被管理,而官员最需要的是被管理而不是被服务,我们很多地方不和谐是因为我们不小心给整反了。不需要管理不是说让你随便杀人放火,看中一个女人就上去强奸,而是说,当一个极其有权有势的人烧了你的房子杀了你的亲人强奸了你的女人的时候,你可以让他得到应得的下场,而不是在上访的路上被相关部门管理了,并且把你说成是精神病,你找媒体曝光,结果新闻得到了管制,消息全部被封锁,然后你被官方描述成一个虐妻的妄想症,后来在看守所跳橡皮筋摔死了,最后还把你当成丧心病狂的典范写进历史书里。

韩寒

February 16, 2009

Arts under Chinese Anti-porn Censorship

Filed under: In English, Joke, in Chinese, news, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 5:13 pm

censored vs. uncensored

Censored

(more…)

February 3, 2009

How to beat swoopo

Filed under: In English, Joke — Rui Guo @ 9:15 pm

Swoopo has invented a new auction business. Different from Ebay, Swoopo is with the following features:swoopo

  1. Bidding on Swoopo auctions starts at 15c, with no reserve prices.
  2. The price goes up by 15c with each bid placed.
  3. If a bid gets placed in the final moments, the auction is extended automatically by up to 20 seconds.
  4. Each bid placed on an auction costs $0.75.

As some netizens commented , this new way of auction is “manipulating game theory to tap stupidity, the greatest resource on this planet.”  Think about a tiny deal–if you buy something worth 20$ with a successful bid of 15$, there have to be 100 bids, which equal to 75$. The bidders including yourself collectively have paid Swoopo $15+75=90$. Any item worth 150$ or more will bring Swoopo 750$ net profit. The auction is very much like a casino machine gamble. Only in Swoopo’s design, human beings form the machine. And because of human stupidity, Swoopo is going to run just like a machine, with the result and profit very predictable.

Swoopo calls it “entertainment auction”–this is disgusting. Swoopo makes bidders reveal their stupidity, watches, and mocks them while money piles up on its account.

*** ***

Now, how do we beat swoopo?

Since the design of swoopo is based on the assumption that human beings collectively will act in a stupid way, we can beat swoopo if we somehow reshape our collective action in swoopo auction.

Here is how we do it:

Outside of swoopo, bidders have to form their own association–Association of Swoopo Bidders (ASB)–make some decisions based on simple calculations, and enforce the decision.

Example:

One item is posted on Swoopo, and its value is 225$. The Association of Swoopo Bidders (ASB) figures that if the item worth 225$, the highest bid should not exceed 37.5$. (Just follow this formula: highest bid=value/6)  THe ASB then makes a dicision that no member should bid more than 37.5$.

Then ASB will enforce the rule, meaning for any rule-breaker bid more than 150$, the rule-breaker’s name will be published on the ASB website immediately, and at the same time ASB will appoint its enforcement force (some members with free bids provided by ASB) to bid against the rule-breaker, who therefore will not be able to get the item or pay substantially more than the price the rule-breaker wanted.  The enforcement force will continue to punish the rule-breaker in the future auctions ruthlessly until the rule-breaker apologizes and convinces ASB nothing against rule will happen again.

–Note the point is whoever places the first bid above 37.5$ will NEVER get the item. In addition, the rule-breaker bidder will not get anything in the future.

Consequently, rule-breakers will be prevented from unnecessarily bidding high, and all members of ASB will have a fair chance of getting cheap goods.

December 18, 2008

Quote of the day

Filed under: Joke, in Chinese, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 9:50 pm

[近来出现很多关于普世价值的讨论,看来看去,都不如王小波说的实在,特此引用。]

我有些庸人的想法:吃饱了比饿着好,健康比有病好,站在粪桶外比跳进去好。

–王小波《极端体验》

December 17, 2008

Quote of the day: Siemens

Filed under: In English, Joke — Rui Guo @ 3:46 pm

WHEN Siemens, Europe’s biggest engineering firm, adopted the slogan “be inspired” in the mid-1990s, bribery was not what it had in mind. But no one can accuse its managers of lacking inspiration when it came to devising novel ways to funnel huge sums in backhanders to corrupt officials and politicians across the globe.

-Economist

December 11, 2008

Joke of the Date

Filed under: Joke, in Chinese — Rui Guo @ 1:05 pm

两个苏联人相遇,聊起来工作。

–您现在在哪工作?

–中学当老师.您呢?

–克格勃

–啊,您在克格勃具体干什么?

–我们负责揪出那些对国家不满的家伙。

–您的意思是….还有人比较满意?

–这些人不归我们管.管他们的是纪委。

News_20 Minuten (English: 20 Minutes) on Wumao (50-cent) and Global Times’ Rebuke

Filed under: In English, Joke, in Chinese — Rui Guo @ 12:33 pm

Chinese governmental media Global Times has a news report today rebuking a foreign media’s (20 Minuten English: 20 Minutes) false report about recent Chinese internet bashing of France.Global Times accuses 20 Munuten falsely reported that Chinese netizens criticizing France got 5 cents (Euro) from the government. What remains unclear, however, is whether 20 Minuten said ALL those Chinese netizens criticizing France received 5 cents or only SOME of them did, on which Global Times’ rebuke says nothing. The Global Times’ rebuke occupies the cover page of major Chinese news websites today.

(Please see past posts of this site on Wu Mao.)

瑞士媒体污蔑我国网民为赚5分钱欧元骂法国

环球时报这篇报道的含混之处在于数量–记者并没有说瑞士媒体《20分钟》到底说有多少这样赚5分钱欧元的网民。如果瑞士媒体说的是全体中国网民的话,那肯定是污蔑,我们也应该义愤填膺;如果说到是部分的话,那倒没什么失实,因为确有拿5毛钱的网民–也就是通常所言中国的五毛党。这些人其实算不上网民,该算是网监(奸)。

常识告诉我们,“赚5分钱欧元”的所谓网民多半指的是中国的五毛党。如果这些成立的话,瑞士媒体也就谈不上污蔑,最多算是侮辱–在法律上,污蔑(准确地说是诽谤)与不实之词对应,侮辱与客观存在的事实对应。例如,张三本来是个小偷,如果有报纸报道说他贪污公款,应追究报纸污蔑的责任;如果说他是个小偷,最多算是侮辱,因为张三本来就是个小偷–这样的侮辱法律常常不管,因为让小偷觉得羞耻不算是件坏事。

December 10, 2008

Han Han: Seven Reasons for Chinese to Boycott French Products

Filed under: In English, Joke, in Chinese, news, 中文 — Rui Guo @ 6:39 pm

[Han Han, a famous young writer and influential blogger, has come up with seven joking reasons to boycott French products as the following (translated by Oiwan Lam, from Global Voice Online ):

First: We must distract our attention and find some fun in it. Our party report said that “Judging from the French politics, Sarkozy has a difficult time. The economy is going down, unemployment rate is high and he has lost people's support. Therefore Sarkozy has to work on human right and Tibet issues to distract people's attention”.The same logic applies to China. The Chinese government also has difficult time. The economy is going down, unemployment rate is high and it has lost people's support. Therefore it has to work on human right and Tibet issues to distract people's attention.

Second: Can't afford to buy French product. The stock has gone down, economy is in regression, other factors like energy price and taxation etc.. Expensive French product is now becoming more luxurious. Since we can't afford it, why not joining the boycott team in exchange for the good name of being patriotic? When the economy becomes better, we can make use of this good name for a good position.
Third: We can protect our government. This is very important. The present government is selected by our father and grand father's generation and therefore represents us. When our government is correct, it means we are correct, if it has face, it means we have face. If we win in this political and economic struggle, the government wins. However, if we lose, it is our mistake. The ignorant mass has been incited by a small fraction of people and triggered a wave of narrow minded nationalism. We have caused damage for our country's diplomatic relation. This provides staircase for our government to exist the stage.
Four: The boycott can prevent corruption… It has great impact to those government official who are eager to have overseas study tour. Their wives are key consumers in the duty free shop. If we boycott French product, they will be hesitated to bring the French luxurious items back to China. As they are not so trendy, it takes a while for them to identify other substitutes. The boycott can thus prevent corruption.
Five: The boycott can help my automobile racing team… (Translator note: the main competitor in the automobile race is Citroen.)
Six: Can prevent government official from escape. France has become the most popular spot for Chinese officials to disappear during their study tour…
Seven: Can reduce the cost for chasing girl. You can tell those girls who love French luxurious items that for the sake of our country, I won't buy you this. ] (more…)
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