Snap Bracelets Are Dangerous.
October 23rd, 2005This entry will begin with a public service announcement. Snap bracelets, which had once been removed from the public market as a response to accidental suicides that they had caused, still boast the same sharp metal insides that got them in trouble in the first place. Yesterday, while playing with my University Health Services “Thrive” snap bracelet, I received a very precise slice in my right middle finger. I have since disposed of the menacing bracelet. If possible, avoid the 80s nostalgia and save a life.
A new copy of my thesis has been posted, replacing the September 14 draft. Less than a month is left for its completion. Would that we lived inside a Kerr blackhole, then I could construct a Carter time machine, go back, and start earlier. In fact, who’s to say we’re not within the horizon of some really massive, slowly rotating blackhole? I guess causality does. So strike that. Read the thesis. I’m going to MIT to get a book.
May 25th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I think you need to learn how to spell. Seriously, no wonder you cut yourself you are ridiculous and a complaining fool. Over analytical are we? Gosh you remind me of a large woman per attitude. Are you?
May 25th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
Dear Chris,
I appreciate your comments on my spelling, and I am sorry that you were so distracted by it that you were unable to comment on the actual content of my post. And thank you for pointing out the correlation between poor spelling and maverick cuts from snap bracelets—an empirical fact often overlooked in the literature.
Yours truly,
Josh
December 14th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I thought snap bracelets were from the 90’s.
December 31st, 2007 at 3:41 pm
I’m young enough that it’s hard for me to separate the late 80s from the early 90s with any definite accuracy.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Perhaps, if you were older at the time of the original release of snap braclets, you would have learned the proper way to snap on a snap braclet and would have avoided the tragic finger cutting you (now so long ago) endured. Quite honestly, I don’t know how your middle finger go in the way of your wrist. Maybe you over-snapped your snap braclet to the point where the end you hold onto while snapping the snap braclet and the offending metal insert was thus released from the plasticky coating? I don’t know; that takes talent-and a lot of snapping.
Wow, you blog a lot. I’m suprised you have time with all that snap braclet snapping.
You also sound relatively intelligent since you had wrote a thesis on some black hole something-or-other and were “off to get a book” (okay, not a direct quote) at MIT. I don’t even think I’m smart enough to get into a bookstore at MIT. Although, I’ve never cute myself on a snap braclet so I guess I have a shot, eh? Sorry, it seems I’ve been reduced to insulting people with snap-braclet issues that I don’t even know when all I wanted to do was see if anyone anywhere stills sells these things. Evidently, folks around the MIT area still distribute them as recently as 2005 so it is a possibility.
Well, I probably won’t check your blog ever again so have a happy day.