May 31, 2006 – 10:38 am
Sitting here again at Hirabari Driver’s License Testing Center. I’m almost 100% certain that I passed. It was a beautiful struggle – the struggle of faith, of nerves, of mind, and of body. Before my test I marveled at the love of God. How much He must love us to put us through trials great and small! How much we are loved that He would so design our days that we pass through trial, pain, suffering, uncertainty, and darkness! How many times I have complained to Him through challenges! WHY?! WHY?! Even this morning I dreamt a terrible dream – not passing due to the misdirection of the tester – and pleading with him to pass me because my daughter has a brain cyst and we can’t get her blood test results without driving. The other day Pearl and I realized that it was already May and that Rota Virus season has passed. We remembered last year’s ordeals with the girls getting sick, then better for a few days, then getting hit with the Rota Virus, dealing with a month of diarrhea and throwing up, Eowyn’s near hypothermia from diarrhea and our cold house, Mikaela’s 7 seizures, and her hospitalization. A few weeks later the seminary opened. Then 2 weeks into the start of Christ Bible Seminary we hear the news from the doctor, “Your daughter has a brain tumor.”
How much God must love us that He would ordain a much more unimaginable suffering for His Son. His Son who was perfect in His divinity was subject to tremendous ordeals in the perfection of His humanity and in His fulfilling of the Law. He endured the trials we could not. He passed through those trials – none of which were properly His. How great is the love of God for us!
Even if I had done poorly and had failed again (or even if I still fail this time), for this and for every trial that we continue to endure, we have great confidence in God. As John Bunyan said (paraphrase) if you escape the hands of your enemies, laugh, and if you do not, still you may laugh, because either way, the scales are STILL in the hands of God.
Hallelujah!