One Life

DEPARTURE 9/19/06

I leave for Nagoya in a few hours. Not looking forward to the 15 hours of flying. I’ll be in Nagoya just overnight as I leave for Malaysia in the morning. Even more not looking forward to being away from my girls. I seem to never get over the pain of separation… feels like my heart is being ripped out to be apart from Pearl and the girls. 16 days total – we’ll take them one day at a time.

Thank you for your prayers! About 30 of you are praying daily – what a blessing! I can see some evidence of those prayers even over the last few days. Pearl also has been praying for me each evening which has helped prepare my heart.

Just to let you know I’ll be speaking sometime around 8:20 or 8:30 am this Sunday morning which is 12 hours behind Malaysia. Would appreciate your prayers especially during that time. I feel good about my talk – will practice lots on the airplane. Traveling half-way around the world is so much easier without 4 little girls in tow!

I’ll try to update during the week from Malaysia!

9/11/06 5:25 am EARLY MORNING STORM

I’m sitting here in the outdoor eating area of the hotel. It’s extremely windy and rainy. Lightning lights up the sky as the waves crash on the shore. It’s like the angels and demons jockeying for position before the opening tip-off. Slept from about 12 – 5 last night after getting into KL (Kuala Lumpur). We had an hour bus ride after getting together in the airport.

It’s great to see my team here – from Brazil, Germany, Australia, India, Malaysia, Bulgaria, and Africa. All wonderful brothers and sisters who have a tremendous passion for seeing the Lord known in our generation in all the world.

One amazingly faithful and generous Christian businessman here in Malaysia Patrick has been advocating and working so hard for us. He even had a T3 line put into this town so we could have internet access for the gathering! So I’m using wireless here and just finished videochatting with my girls. It’s such a blessing to do so, since we all feel like we are spending time with each other each day!

I’m still a bit in a haze from tiredness and jetlag, but there’s a excitement and anticipation that is just starting in my heart in earnest. Had good time in prayer this morning simply giving thanks to the Lord for my salvation. I had some meditation time on my life before Christ as well as after and was filled with a great thanksgiving for the Lord’s mercy in my life. May my life be a proper response to so great a salvation….

9/23/06 10:52 pm

It’s been a tremendous day as participants have begun to arrive in Malaysia. Two years of prayer and preparation are becoming reality. It’s an amazing thought of 500 young leaders stepping on airplanes from 110 nations and converging on this place. Already I’ve been blessed.

I was surprised to see a friend from Cameroon who I met in Thailand at the Lausanne 2004 Forum. His wife sent a small gift for me! Another sister from Ghana brought a bracelet and wallet for me to bring home for Pearl. I’ve fellowshipped with a brother from the Muslim nation of Uzbekistan, brothers from South America, and another from Mauritania and Seychelles.

(this is Benvictor my friend from Cameroon)

We have 71 mentors who are leading small groups for the younger leaders. There are some tremendous people in this group. I was so encouraged meeting Jim Chew, a Chinese man my father’s age working in New Zealand who said that he has been praying for me.

The Lausanne Senior Leadership Team has arrived as well and seem so encouraged and pleased by how things have come together.

There have been miraculous works of God. Many stories to be told especially regarding visas for entering into Malaysia. Larry Russell one of my mentors had the opportunity to meet with the head of immigration in Malaysia who graciously moved huge barriers for us Christians!

(me and Terry Cook one of my mentors)

(me and Jason Mandryk who I met in Thailand two years ago – look at the front page of your copy of Operation World and you can figure out who he is!)

Praise the Lord that I slept well last night finally. Thanks for those who are praying! I’ve felt in a daze for the first 2 days and finally feel normal today! There is tremendous excitement just seeing everyone! Also I was able to get into the main meeting room and run through my talk on stage. People keep asking me if I’m nervous. I think I’m excited and will probably feel some nervousness as the gathering opens tomorrow night.

I speak somewhere around 8:45 am on the East coast which is 12 hours behind Malaysia.

Most of all I’d like to ask you to pray that God would speak through me. What else more could I ask?

9/24 4:40 pm

This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

We sang that classic song this morning with the mentors during orientation. It was such a good reminder and encouragement! Then Terry shared from Exodus 33 one of my favorite passages. Again it was a clear sense of the Lord speaking to me.

Ex. 33:15 ¶ Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.
Ex. 33:16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”
Ex. 33:17 ¶ And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”
Ex. 33:18 ¶ Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

I prayed in my heart – Lord don’t send me up on that stage unless you go with me. At lunch again I prayed again and again – Lord be with me, be with me, be with me….

I feel good. At lunch time I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards God. It’s such a privilege to be here, such a significant moment of my life this week and tonight. I want to represent my team here well and have the Lord speak through me. One of my teammates here Gabriella from Bulgaria reminded me of all those who are praying for me encouraging me to think about Pearl and the girls praying for me. I almost lost it at that point. I can’t tell you how honored I feel to be here. Humbled to be here with so many wonderful young Christian leaders.

I met some of the Chinese contingency and even met “Jet Li” who knows my cousin in Beijing. They live in the same building! Met a man from Iraq, brothers from Hong Kong and Australia, another friend who I met in Thailand 2 years ago.

Thank you Lord….

First of all let me just say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for praying. God answered your prayers in abundance!!! It’s nearly 1 am and I’m just processing what has gone on in the past 4-5 hours. The least important thing is that the speech went very well and very smoothly. The most important thing is that rich fruit was borne in many many hearts. To be honest I felt so in the moment as I spoke that I hardly could sense what was going on in the hearts of the 600 or so in the hall. I came down from the stage still in what felt like a heavenly cloud – not a rapturous joy but like on a wind – and only felt like I snapped back into reality when a brother from South Africa hugged me and said, “God bless you!” The intercessory prayer team told us that a powerful storm suddenly hit during my talk with tremendous wind and rain… which ended the moment the talk ended. They said it was a powerful time of prayer.

It was witnessing the work that God did in the hearts of some of the young leaders after that was a tremendous blessing. It was so much more than a sugar high emotionalism, but a deep, impacting, meaty work of God in the voices of those who shared that makes it so clear that God has answered prayer and truly spoke to His people even through my inadequate words. It’s hard to describe, but I have the feeling that I served cookies tonight and God turned it into heavenly meat by the Holy Spirit. It’s unlike any other speaking experience I’ve had in my life. Jim Chew, a man my father’s age who I took an immediate liking to, prayed for me with rejoicing and prayed that I wouldn’t look back at my talk and think about how I did or anything like that. That was exactly the prayer I needed as I was able to open my eyes to see what God was doing in OTHER people’s hearts rather than look at my own self. Paul Borthwick also said such encouragements to me and shared that after speaking sometimes you are most vulnerable. That too opened my heart to look to others and witness the work God did in their hearts.

Soon after the night ended a brother from China told me that he had a confession to make – that sometimes when times get very hard his God is too small. If that’s true of him how much more so me! Another South African shared that the voice of God spoke to him through me. A brother from the Solomon Islands said that his life has been changed tonight. I had a wonderful celebration with a group from Ghana who rejoiced together with me in God’s work tonight! Another brother from Ethiopia who was abandoned at the age of 1 by his mother, hated and abused by his father, living on his own from the age of 13 asked to spend time together – asking me to teach him and tell him anything about my life and ministry because this was a great blessing from the Lord tonight. I honestly felt like I have nothing to teach only to learn from him.

I got about half a dozen invitations to speak in Africa, India, Pakistan, etc. What precious brothers and sisters! Some of them have never been on an airplane or outside of their own country. What a privilege to know them!

Finally Pat Russell, wife of my mentor Larry, shared that the intercessory prayer team which was praying through the talk told her that a powerful stormy wind was blowing during that time and there was a great sense of moving of God. Continue to blow O wind of God!

So again thank you for your prayers! Know that your prayers are joining with thousands of others who are praying for this gathering! I do ask that you continue to pray as I start a new day in 6 hours with new opportunities to witness God’s grace and mercies in the lives of many. It’s food to my soul to see the faith of my brothers and sisters here.

9/26 5:25 pm

I just returned from leading a regional East Asian meeting of participants from China, Japan, Korea, Macau, and Taiwan. WOW! There were about 60 of us in one of the sweetest fellowship times in my life. We shared our hearts, the lessons the Lord has been teaching us. We also dreamt and planned together for the future – brainstorming about how we can continue our fellowship, partnership, and ministries into the future. To end it all the mainland Chinese house church leaders and members prayed for the rest of us as we sat and then the rest of us stood and prayed for all of our mainland Chinese brothers and sisters. We’ll meet one more time as a region on Saturday. It’s hard to describe how blessed I was!

I’ve met people from Australia, Ethiopia, and other nations who have said that they pray for Japan. It reflects something that I’ve said to some of my students in the past – there are more non-Japanese praying for Japan than Japanese. That’s a reflection one of the lack of prayer among Japanese Christians and two the abundance of others outside Japan praying….

“God spoke exactly what I needed”

I think as a speaker the phrase that I like to hear least is “you did a really good job”. Especially when that’s all that was said it just deflates me because it tells me nothing useful about myself and nothing about what God was or was not doing in their lives. I asked you all to pray that God would speak through me and I’ve had dozens and dozens of conversations that have confirmed exactly that and it’s been my great great joy to see it.

9/28: 11:11 pm

Enjoyed another wonderful day today and yesterday. Had a Christian from Libya in a group that I led on theological education. What a blessing to meet a brother like that. We have three here from Iraq along with several others from the Middle East. The brothers and sisters from China are all wonderful people. One brother lives in the same apartment complex as my cousin and knows her well. There’s also a brother from North Korea. Having the opportunity to fellowship and worship together with such people has been a rich experience for all here. They live risky lives for the Lord in constant danger of the authorities and even just the regular people around them. But as David Livingstone said “I am immortal till my work is accomplished”. The Lord preserves His people until His work in and through them in this world is complete. What fear then is there of man? The Lord’s will will be done and done for His glory.

Becky Pippert and Ajith Fernando both spoke today. What wonderful communicators and godly people.

Let me leave you with a quote from another of the wonderful speakers Mutua who said:

“One of the scary things is that you will succeed in things that don’t matter. Things that don’t matter for eternity.”

9/29 7:52 am

One of the great blessings of events like this is the opportunity to have life contact with tremendous older leaders. I’ve enjoyed getting to know Jerry White, the former leader of the Navigators. Also I’ve had contact again with some other leaders like Paul Borthwick who I first met in Thailand at the Lausanne 2004 Forum. (To be continued)

10/1 7:33 pm KL Airport

I leave for East Malaysia soon and then to Narita overnight. So much to share, but suffice it to say that this has been a life-changing experience for me. I’ve met with God here in this place and with His people from literally all around the world – my brothers and sisters. I’ll update in a few days from Nagoya…. Thank you for your prayers from the bottom of my heart….

10/3 5:43 Nagoya

Arrived last night from Malaysia into Nagoya (LONG trip!) Spent the day at the seminary with my students and tried to just POUR out the blessings I received last week into their lives. I’m exhausted but so blessed. Will update more later but wanted to share a few pictures that were taken during my talk on the first night….

10/4 11:25 am

I leave Nagoya in about 1 hour and can’t wait to see all my girls. We’ve had a wonderful 4 days with Jim and Colleen DiRaddo who I asked to come after the YLG to teach communications to our students. All the students had a great time – touched by the teaching and life and marriage of the professors. It’s been an incredible 16 days for me. It’s been the greatest days of spiritual blessing in my life. Thank you Lord! Thank you for all who are and have been praying daily especially….

As some of you know I’ll be in Malaysia soon for the Lausanne Younger Leaders Gathering which runs from Sun Sept 24th through Sun Oct 1st. It’s an historic gathering of 500 younger leaders (aged 25-35) from over 100 nations. This is an extremely exciting group of current young leaders from around the world who represent the future leadership of the global church. The main goals will be to inform, develop, inspire, and connect the young leaders so that the WHOLE church will bring the WHOLE Gospel to the WHOLE world. My experience at the 2004 Lausanne Forum in Pattaya, Thailand which was the third major Lausanne meeting (after 1974 Lausanne, Switzerland and 1989 Manila, Philippines) was one of the most encouraging and inspiring of my life. You can learn more at lausanne.org.

I leave Philadelphia on Sept 19th first for Nagoya, Japan where I’ll spend the night. Then I leave the next morning for Malaysia to meet with the program planning team. For the past year and a half we’ve worked to put this conference together. I ask especially for your prayer for the evening of the 24th when I’ll be giving the keynote address. The Lausanne leadership asked me to give this talk because of their desire to have a younger leader open the gathering.

This is an intimidating and exhilarating opportunity. I just got off the phone with Doug Birdsall the executive chair of the Lausanne committee. He was so encouraging and mentioned that there are many who are praying for me. I wanted to ask specifically for your daily prayers from now until Oct 5th when I’ll return from Asia (after being at CBS for a modular course for my students).

Last week I was talking with some friends and about the work and limitations of the Evil One. I mentioned about how Satan is a finite being limited to one location at one time. (And that he’s probably off trying to harass a Billy Graham or some other significant figure in the church around the world). But for the first time in my life I can say with regards to this YLG (Younger Leaders Gathering) that Satan might be there. There is potential for a tremendous work of God that could spark movements literally all around the world. This is significant enough of an event that even Satan could make himself known. It is that much of a threat to his kingdom I believe.

In 1987 the first Lausanne gathering of young leaders took place in Singapore. Many of today’s Christian leaders were there as young leaders. The ministry of Ajith Fernando was launched because of that gathering. More than 250 gathered from 50 nations.

At our gathering we’ll have double the people from double the nations. We were hoping for 100 more, but because of insufficient funding for scholarships many will not be able to attend.

The other speakers, unlike myself, are all familiar and famous names – Peter Kuzmic, Becky Pipert, Ajith Fernando, etc. I’m very aware that I am the youngest, least experienced, and most spiritually vulnerable of all the speakers.

Logically I would think that I would be Satan’s easiest target.

So I ask for your prayers. Your daily, fervent prayers for me.

Please pray for:

1) my family while I’m away. Pearl and the girls were under heavy spiritual attack while I was away in Thailand for the 2004 Forum. Each night at 3:15 am something woke up Pearl and the girls – mysterious phone calls, inexplicably the alarm clock ringing, etc. Mikaela also broke out with blisters and boils over her whole body.

2) for my spiritual walk – that I would be spiritual ready for my talk and the whole gathering. I’ve felt sharp over the past months but less so in this past week. I want to be prayerful, spiritually alert, and filled with the power of the spirit. I want to take advantage of every providential meeting, conversation and new friendship with those at the gathering. I want to have a listening heart to know the Lord’s leading in wisdom.

3) for spiritual protection from the Evil One – both personally and for all those gathering. Malaysia is a Muslim nation and in recent years and even months have started to restrict religious freedom. There is always a concern of security breaches as well especially jeopardizing those attending from closed and persecuted nations. Pray for God’s protection and that we would be wiser than the Evil One.

4) for my physical strength and endurance – I’m flying about 35,000 miles this month total which I dread. I’m concerned especially for my keynote that I have enough strength and endurance in my voice as there are many powerful challenges that I want to have enough voice to express.

5) for POWERFUL movements of God to be born through the gathering throughout the WHOLE earth that would IMPACT eternity and bring GREAT glory to Christ. Only God knows what His plans are – but we pray for God to work POWERFULLY for His kingdom – that this event would help usher in the second coming of Christ.

Thank you for your prayers – of support and encouragement and of battle.

Psa. 123:2 As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he shows us his mercy.

Yesterday was my wonderful wife Pearl’s 35th birthday. It was a special day of celebration and thanksgiving to God. I bought her a necklace with a key and a heart on it. I wanted to share if I might a portion of what I wrote in my card to Pearl. It will explain the birthday present meaning.

—

There will certainly be times when like for myself in this past year there will be temptations to doubt or worry. May any gray hairs we have be signs of wisdom rather than stress! In those times it’s good to remember one of the scenes in The Pilgrim’s Progress when Christian recalls in the dungeon of Doubting-castle that he has a key to the door. Bunyan writes,

“What a fool I have been, to lie like this in a stinking dungeon, when I could have just as well walked free. In my chest pocket I have a key called Promise that will, I am thoroughly persuaded, open any lock in Doubting-Castle.” “Then,” said Hopeful, “that is good news. My good brother, do immediately take it out of your chest pocket and try it.” Then Christian took the key from his chest and began to try the lock of the dungeon door; and as he turned the key, the bolt unlocked and the door flew open with ease, so that Christian and Hopeful immediately came out.

Three times Bunyan says that the key was in Christian’s “chest pocket” or simply his “chest.” Some understand this to mean that Christian had hidden the words and promises of the Bible in his heart by memorization and that it was now accessible in prison and times of doubt for precisely this reason.

I hope this year can be a year of great promise seeking and Word reading for you, and that these promises might be like a key in your heart that frees you from the dungeon of Doubting-castle. Surely there are more challenges ahead for us both and for our family. Good challenges ordained by God Himself – and a hearty, fruitful bounty of blessing that will overshadow all that came before.

We’ll be home for furlough from the end of August through February of next year. I’m hoping to get into as many pulpits as possible to share a missions vision. Also I hope to do some recruiting for new missionaries and add a few churches to support CBS.

If you know of any good opportunities – particularly churches that are larger with lots of open-hearted young people – I’d be happy for help scheduling my speaking engagements. Fridays are also open, but here are my Sunday openings. Places within driving distance of Philadelphia would be great – but I’m happy to hop on a plane to travel as well – especially if the church can help with transportation costs. It’s my passion to see Christians have a heart for the nations and for the Lord of the nations!

Below is my schedule as of now:

8/20 (Korean United Church; sharing not preaching)
8/27 (Grace Covenant Church)
9/3 (Shady Grove Presbyterian Church, MD)
9/10 (Christ Covenant Presbyterian Church)
9/17 (Fairfield Pres, NJ)
9/24, 10/1 (Lausanne Younger Leaders Gathering, Malaysia)
10/8 (KUC)
10/15 (Emmanuel Church / Renewal Church)
10/22 (Trinity Presbyterian Church, MD)
10/29 (Antioch Church, NJ)
11/5 (First Presbyterian Church Margate Mission Conference)
11/12 (Tenth Presbyterian Church Mission Conference)
11/19 (Bethany Collegiate Presbyterian Church)
11/26 (Living Faith Community Church, NY)
12/3 (Cityview Church, IL)
12/10 (Covenant Presbyterian Church, CT)
12/17 (Chamsarang Church, NY)
12/24 (family time – no preaching)
12/31 (Redeemer Pres, MA)
1/7 Lakeview Church, IL
1/14, 21, 28 (with CBS students)
2/4 Praise Presbyterian Church, NJ
2/11 open
2/18 Covenant Presbyterian Church NJ
2/12-19 Westminster Seminary Mission Conference
2/25 First Pres Jackson MS Mission Conference

I can be reached at  ohfamily at gmail.com. Thanks!

You’re probably familiar with the famous quote from Harvard Philosopher George Santayana: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” In a recent lecture on church history with my students at Tokyo Christian University I realized not only how true this statement is for the church and for us Christians but also it made me pause to think about history and the Evil One. Satan, unlike the church, has the benefit of having experienced all of the history of mankind himself. He lived through the Garden of Eden, Babel, the divided kingdom, the crucifixion, the initial advance of the Gospel, Constantine, the Middle Ages, the Reformation, the Great Awakening, the fall of Communism, modern day evangelicalism, and globalization. There is no sin and temptation to which man is susceptible that Satan does not know, has not used, has not used effectively and devastatingly, and will not continue to use. Satan knows history.

This puts him at a great advantage as the church and Christians repeat their follies again and again sometimes ignorant of even having an enemy. At other times we have so domesticated the very idea of the Devil that he has no bearing on either our lives or this world.

Not all is lost to the Devil’s historical advantage however. There is an historical record, a very good one, to be read for those willing to read. Wonderful accounts from the early church through the modern age that bring the story of the work of God to light, a work more often despite the ways of man rather than because of him. Of course our primary historical account is contained within the Scriptures themselves, a book too often ignored by those who profess faith in the truths contained within it.

Finally our greatest comfort is that God knows history. Not only that, He authored it. Imagine the frustration of the Devil! Throughout the whole history of man Satan has worked wisely, diabolically manipulating the sinful hearts of man within this fallen world to great effect, only to know that at every turn and in every circumstance that God has desired, He has not only thwarted his schemes but has used the very works of Satan’s hands for the GLORY of Jesus Christ. You would think Satan would just give up, but it’s not in his nature but to do as he does.

So Christian, don’t forget the lessons of the history of the church. Know the ways and works of the evil one, mankind, and the Holy Spirit. Read biographies and autobiographies of the great saints – John Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards, Hudson Taylor, Augustine. They will be faithful companions in times of trial which in turn will lead to triumph in God’s due time. They have been my dearest mentors….

Tonight as I put down Elliot, my 4 month-old daughter, for the night, as always I put my hand on her head and said a benediction from Numbers 6:24-26. I’ve probably said that blessing more than 1500 times not that I’ve know that many Sundays either in the pulpit or in the pews but because I’ve blessed my children each night since Pearl became pregnant with Hannah close to 7 years ago. The blessing goes like this:

Num. 6:24 “‘“The LORD bless you and keep you;
Num. 6:25 the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
Num. 6:26 the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.”’

It’s one of those passages that if you really think about it doesn’t make sense. What does it mean to ask God to make His face shine on you? Why pray again for His face to turn towards you? As many Biblical concepts I think where my not-too-long-ago understanding of the meaning of this blessing really came from contemplating it’s opposite. And like many opposites or paradoxes we can see it in the life of Jesus. Christ’s cry from Psalm 22 on the cross, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” teaches us the very opposite of the Aaronic benediction – that at the moment when Christ took upon Himself both our sin and the punishment due it from the hand of the Father, God’s face neither shone nor inclined toward Him. It was turned away from His son.

Christ forsaken that we might be forgiven. The face of God turned away from Christ that He might ever turn His face towards us. The Aaronic benediction is a blessing only in Christ and only because of Christ. May the Lord so bless you and shine His face upon you….

How often is our joy circumstantial. We rejoice and celebrate when a certain blessing comes, when a victory is won, or when difficulty is averted. Rejoicing in such things is good and proper, but we live in and seek such blessings almost like a drug without which we can’t be happy. There is a contentment regardless of circumstance and a rejoicing in sour circumstance that is far more foreign and set apart from this world than the circumstantial joy that it too shares. This distinct and holy (set apart) joy in definitive relationship with Jesus Christ that trumps every circumstance is the light that shines drawing people to our Lord. When the non-believer sees that for the Christian every sunrise is more beautiful, every dark valley less gloomy, and every smile brighter they will know that you are a child of the Living God.

Psa. 32:1 ¶ Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

For those familiar with our ministry you know that the first Wednesday of each month we fast and bring before the Lord both our urgent prayer requests but much more so our own hearts and lives. Here’s a short post of my email to our teams (FONTS and CBI):

If you ask me the thing that I am most proud of during my time at Harvard I know immediately how I would answer. During those two years I made a promise to God that I would never say no to Pearl. She was always reluctant to ask me to go out for a movie or shopping or even to the grocery store with Hannah (after she was born), but whenever she did I said yes without any reluctance. It was a message that I wanted to communicate to her that she was more important than anything else in my life – that I was never too busy to spend time with her. I thanked God on the day of graduation for helping me to keep that commitment and also for the first time I told Pearl about it.

There are times when I will set aside everything for a day – all my work, hobbies, etc. – to spend the day with my family. Like my time with Pearl at Harvard, it’s not that my studies or ministry or work are bad. It’s simply that there’s something that’s MORE important – my family. And this is exactly what fasting communicates. It’s not that food is NOT important or good or a blessing from God. It just that there’s something, SOMEONE, so much more important – someone WORTH setting aside everything else for – someone to whom we should want to never say no.

Enjoy your fasting… Or much more so enjoy the sweetness of fellowship with the Lord. More of Jesus in our lives….

Michael

May 31, 2006 – 10:38 am

Sitting here again at Hirabari Driver’s License Testing Center. I’m almost 100% certain that I passed. It was a beautiful struggle – the struggle of faith, of nerves, of mind, and of body. Before my test I marveled at the love of God. How much He must love us to put us through trials great and small! How much we are loved that He would so design our days that we pass through trial, pain, suffering, uncertainty, and darkness! How many times I have complained to Him through challenges! WHY?! WHY?! Even this morning I dreamt a terrible dream – not passing due to the misdirection of the tester – and pleading with him to pass me because my daughter has a brain cyst and we can’t get her blood test results without driving. The other day Pearl and I realized that it was already May and that Rota Virus season has passed. We remembered last year’s ordeals with the girls getting sick, then better for a few days, then getting hit with the Rota Virus, dealing with a month of diarrhea and throwing up, Eowyn’s near hypothermia from diarrhea and our cold house, Mikaela’s 7 seizures, and her hospitalization. A few weeks later the seminary opened. Then 2 weeks into the start of Christ Bible Seminary we hear the news from the doctor, “Your daughter has a brain tumor.”

How much God must love us that He would ordain a much more unimaginable suffering for His Son. His Son who was perfect in His divinity was subject to tremendous ordeals in the perfection of His humanity and in His fulfilling of the Law. He endured the trials we could not. He passed through those trials – none of which were properly His. How great is the love of God for us!

Even if I had done poorly and had failed again (or even if I still fail this time), for this and for every trial that we continue to endure, we have great confidence in God. As John Bunyan said (paraphrase) if you escape the hands of your enemies, laugh, and if you do not, still you may laugh, because either way, the scales are STILL in the hands of God.

Hallelujah!

(email from March 1st, 2006 regarding our fast which we observe the first Wednesday of each month for CBS)

Andy, team,

Thanks for the reminder – I forgot to send a reminder to you all!

We’re in the middle of our fast – a good day. I was reading in Oswald Sander’s book on Spiritual Leadership and was very convicted when reading his section on discipline. As you know discipline is not the only or main focus of fasting (let me know if you didn’t read my short write-up on fasting and would like to receive it), but fasting certainly is an important
component of discipline. Also one area of discipline tends to impact discipline in other areas. Conversely lack of discipline in one area (whether in food, exercise, devotions, sexual purity, etc.) tends to impact other areas.

Sanders writes about discipline – “without this essential quality, all other gifts remain as dwarfs: they cannot grow.” Later he says, “Many who drop out of ministry are sufficiently gifted, but have large areas of life floating free from the Holy Spirit’s control. Lazy and disorganized people never rise to true leadership.” (p.52).

He also shares examples of people who have with lots of help from a disciplined life made significant impact in this world.

George Whitefield (who by the way was also founder of U. Penn) rose at four in the morning and retired at ten each night.

Amy Carmichael wrote these words:

God, harden me against myself,
The coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease and rest and joy.
Myself, arch-traitor to myself,
My hollowest friend,
My deadliest foe,
My clog, whatever road I go.

Pray for yourselves and for me that we might know such discipline and godliness in our lives. “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness….” (1 Tim 4:7)

Michael

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