Comments on: Do home-schooled kids have better manners?

By: Leona

Leona — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:14:13 +0000

it’s been quite some time since anyone has commented, but for the sake of anyone reading… here goes…

regarding kristy’s post…

i was public-schooled in the same school district k thru 12 (and daycare!)… for most of my school career i had few or no friends… for 8th and 9th i did have a bit of a circle and went to dances, games, etc… but that was short lived. i have only been to a couple birthday parties my whole life and only a few sleepovers. i also was (and is) the one “always trying to be a friend to other people being nice and everything, but nobody wants to be my friend.” school only made my apparent inability to make real friends more painful and depressing. i was an outsider, always trying to “fit in”, whatever that meant… i became sexually active at 14 (very risky!) and started drugs at the same age, i was actually introduced to them by my boyfriend!

if i could change anything… it would to have not been tortured by public school and the peer pressure to fit in with the “cool” people who i obviously didn’t reflect the type of person i am….

don’t blame being home-schooled on your social issues… there are obviously other issues at play… maybe depression, social anxiety deserving of diagnosis? i have plenty of experience there….

By: Kathy

Kathy — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 16:14:52 +0000

Could it be that parents who home school their children spend more time with them teaching manners? My kids go to public school yet have impeccable manners due to my husband and I spending time with them and teaching this to them. It is not a home schooled phenomenon but a parent issue.

By: kristy

kristy — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 05:49:39 +0000

Hi, my name is Kristy, I am a 18 yr old female, finishing up senior yr of highschool. I have been home schooled since was born. My parents are christians and they didn’t want to put me or my brothers in the puplic schools, because they didn’t want us to be influenced by all the bad stuff that goes on in the schools(they said). I dont want to sound negative and rude or anything, but I have hated being homeschooled from the very beginning. I begged my parents every single year to let me go to the public school and always their answer was NO, I totally believe what other people say that homeschoolers miss out on social interactions. I have no friends, haven’t for about 4 or 5 yrs now, the neighborhood friends I had moved away when I was like 13 or 14. So I basically was alone all of the time, doing everything by myself or with my family. I have had really no social life at all, I have never been to parties, dances, or just to a movie with a bunch of giggly girlfriends, I have only gone on one date with a guy in my whole life and I haven’t ever had a boyfriend( it’s not that I am ugly or fat or anything it’s just that I dont know any guys my age) when I am in a social situation I tend to shy away and get quiet and I feel like the outsider( I hate it) I have a job as a sales associate at a clothing store, but the people I work with are all older then me like by 5 yrs and they seem like they just want to talk to me at work not hang out togather or anything. It seems like I am always trying to be a friend to other people being nice and everything, but nobody wants to be my friend. I have to say the one BIGGEST REGRET in my life is being FORCED TO BE HOMESCHOOLED. I feel like I am a social outcast and dont belong I am unhappy and have been depressed for about 5 yrs now. If I could ask for anything in this whole world it would be to start back from the beginning, but to start in a public school and have a ton of friends be popular and play in a sport or gymastics or something. I just want to say one more thing if your a parent and are trying to decide if you want to homeschool or put your kid in a publi school, think about your childs feelings and his/her social interactions, if you think you are helping the child from being influenced by bad behaver of peer groups, you are really just sheltering them and when they are actually able to go out into the world they are not going to be developed socially and will not know how to intereact good with peers. They will have a very hard time making friends and will feel like an outsider. I can tell you this from experience, some kids just are not mean’t to be homeschooled for your child sake think very hard and long if you really want to put them threw this! Like one of the posts said, ‘it could do more hurt then good’. I know some kids want to be homeschooled and some enjoy it, but a lot dont and are forced to. I hate being the social outcast, the girl with no friends, the depressed lonely girl that has no life:( Thanks for listening and I hope that no one is angered or mad by my post I just feel like venting I guess hope you all dont mind. Thanks

By: Toni Grant

Toni Grant — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 16:57:39 +0000

As an Certified Etiquette Instructor, I teach table manners and social skills to children, ages 7 through 18, college students and professioal business behavior to adults. I teach children from various faiths, ethnicity and economic backgrounds. Students in my classes are from HS, private Catholic schools, magnet schools, public and parochial schools. What I have found is that we all have hopes for children, and we have an obligation to help them prepare for their grown-up years no matter what their future will hold. Good manners involve more than simply knowing the rules about forks and finger bowls in formal situations…they include good attitudes, respect, and consideration for others everyday. HS children lack this teaching just an any other child does. Knowing what to expect in a social situation eases the mystersy and anxiety for children. Knowing how to teach children to act in social situations is a difficult task. Clearly, manners training in many homes have been neglected. All to often, parents concentrate on developing their children’s talents, skills and interestes,(soccer, ballet, baseball). The finer points of etiquette and life skills are important for every child to know. Demonstrating proper behavior is an essential part of being prepared for life. Whether a child is HS, in the private or public sector, a disservice is done if you send then into the world without good table manners and social habits.

By: Ash

Ash — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 15:23:35 +0000

I wantd to state that I have also spent time with this family and it is my opinion that they are some of the nicest people I have ever known. Since these children were babies they have been given the oportunity to be the part of a different world then most people. Circus is a wonderful art that they are lucky to be so talented at. As for their schooling, Mysha is the most beautiful, intelligent, opinionated fifteen year old I have ever met. I have graduated high school and she can win arguements with me on any subject with ease. Alex, is a genius and designs little airplanes and boats all the time. He is so smart and impressed my Dad with his engineering smarts, that my Dad said he could hire him at his engineering company. Orion is the single most driven person I have ever met in my life. No matter what he persues in life I no doubt in my mind that he will suceed. This drive speaks for this entire family. The way these children were raised, I believe gives them more opportunity then the average public school student. They have seen so many things and been exposed to so many walks of life that they will know what will truly make them happy, which in my experiance is an impressive feat for young people today. These children are the products of wonderful loving parents who have raised their children to have respect for all people. I have the utmost respect for this family, and schooling or lack their of is a very one sided measurement of opportunity.

By: Lolligagg3r

Lolligagg3r — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:26:13 +0000

Massively Sorry for the triple post! I guess an invisible entity thought it was triple important?

By: Lolligagg3r

Lolligagg3r — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:21:37 +0000

I just want to say that I was at that Block Party with the Circus Family Sardine and I traveled with them for a year. I havent said anything about my experience till now, I feel like I should let you in on it. What the parents did to those kids is abuse to the highest degree. They have used them since they were babies to make money that they never see and whats worse is they didnt teach them anything “school wise”. The whole time I was with them Miesje and Minnie (the youngest girl and boy) picked up a book maybe once or twice. Alex, the oldest of the 2 traveling boys cant read, write, or even spell his name properly. Vicky, the oldest and most literate taught herself and wrote all the time. When thier parents are finally out of the picture they will have nothing to fall back on other than what they have known all their life, street performing, and that is sad. Not only aren’t they literate but they missed out on the chance to live their own life, and Mentally the are screwed up too…I wont get into that. Did I mention there Mother and Father have been keeping the family in America illegally for the past 2 years? They are VERY irresponible and only care about themself and that is what they have taught their kids. Once upon a time I looked up to them…untill I saw what they really were when it was no longer showtime. I only hope John and Pauline read this and are ashamed of themselves, but I doubt it. And I will always Love and Miss Miesje, Minnie, and Vicky with all my heart…even Alex…I hope you guys are okay.

<3 Leah

PS: As to your question…its ridiculous and what made you come up with it is even worse.

By: Lolligagg3r

Lolligagg3r — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:21:22 +0000

<3 Leah

PS: As to your question…its ridiculous and what made you come up with it is even worse.

By: Lolligagg3r

Lolligagg3r — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:21:17 +0000

<3 Leah

PS: As to your question…its ridiculous and what made you come up with it is even worse.

By: Tabitha

Tabitha — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 00:56:41 +0000

As a post home school student myself – I would have to agree with Terrie Lynn and other proponents of home schooling; it is of infinite value! I am one of five girls ranging in ages from 26 to 13, and I might say I am the least among them… A senior in college, I have a 3.8 GPA, am applying for Clinical Psychology Ph.D. programs across the region, and feel well prepared for my professional future.

Regarding earlier comments about exceptional home school students likely being the result of only or eldest children, I would have to answer that I am a middle child. My oldest sister did have a 4.0 GPA through college, vs. my 3.8, and my other college aged sister’s 3.72, however, I think that an observant person would see in our family FIVE capable, intelligent, mature, respectful and socially competent women/young ladies.

From observing other home schooling families, I would not say our family was in any way an atypical home schooling family; however much of an anomaly we might be in terms of the typical public school family. What I WOULD have to acknowledge is that perhaps the families and parents, who chose to take the time and make the commitment to be home schooling parents, might have a tendency towards raising respectful, intelligent, competent, hard working children.

If I were to construct a research hypothesis, it would not test if the successful home schooled children were eldest children or only children, but would instead study the differentiating factors in the families/parents who decided to engage in home schooling… What made my parents special/capable/interested in home schooling? I would hypothesize that there were determinate features to them as parents and individuals that led them to make this decision – features that perhaps also contributed to their ability and aptitude for raising and training capable, socially apt, successful children.

Regarding the constant argument of inadequate socialization (specifically peer) – it shows merely poor education on the part of the person posing the argument… Home schooled children have available to them just as many extra curricular activities as public school children: including sports teams, 4H groups, youth religious groups, play dates, debate teams, fine arts education and clubs, etc. In fact, a parent or family sufficiently motivated to TEACH their children themselves seems even more likely to be highly involved in other aspects of their children’s lives in such roles as Cub Scout den mothers, Boy Scout leaders, the “brownie/snack” mom on the soccer team etc.

I know for a fact that I saw more symphonies, went to the library more frequently, more regularly participated in our religious organization’s youth events, and was in more sports teams/competitions then were any of my public school friends (who enrolled in the honorary band/drama clubs at their public schools.) Are my parents unusual? Absolutely, but then perhaps ALL parents willing to devote themselves to their children from morning until night of every day would be considered unusual… How is home schooling in any way a WORSE or hampered or developmentally inferior experience??!!! I have yet to hear an argument against home schooling on this blog with which someone who has ACTUALLY experienced home schooling would agree.

Oh and by the way, I’m American, not British – for whomever it was that made the comment about being unable to compare the manners and social graces of American children to British. What an uneducated and culturally biased comment! Is there really even any need to address it??!!!