f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

The New York Times Headlines email letter came this morning

with the following Quotation of the Day:

“It’s always nice when they come home. And it’s always nice when they leave.”

– PATRICIA GOSS,  on having children home from

college for the holidays.

(see the accompanying article: “Home for Holidays, Rocking the Nest,” by

Vincent M. Mallozzi, Dec. 17, 2005).  It’s a topic that has been addressed

by a few of f/k/a’s Honored Guest Poets:

first night home from college

click of the latch

on her bedroom door

Carolyn Hall – A New Resonance 2

his room empty now …
in the distance, points of the light
on the interstate

boy shooting baskets–

deep snow piled

all around him

home from a date—
my roommate’s underwear
now inside out

lee gurga from Fresh Scent

our two loudest

on vacation

in the same week

last sandwich

from the loaf

the two ends

Tom Clausen – Upstate Dim Sum (2005/II)

3 P.M.
mom’s shoveling wakes
the cranky collegian

dagosan

update: See Paul David Mena’s treatment

of this theme here (Dec. 19, 2005).

I’m sure the RiskProf is more than happy to send his students

back to their parents over the Holiday Break. But don’t go thinking he’s

only having fun.  For example, see his response to little Virginia Hazard’s

question on the existence of Adverse Selection.”   He’s brutally frank,

making analogies to Santa Claus.   Now I’m wondering what he’s going

to say when Virginia’s brother Moral Hazard writes in wondering whether

Cherry Picking really happens in the insurance industry.  Stay tuned.

The opinionated proprietor of the Taken for Ranted weblog must

believe in the old saw “If you’ve got the name, you might as well

have the game.”   In response to those who insist there is a war

on Christmas, Ranter has posted “John Calvin Joins the Ranter

in the War on Christmas” (Dec. 15, 2005)

 

 

Here are a few excerpts (which I hope will get you to go read the

entire post and check out his merchandise; of course, if you haven’t

already, feel free to first check out our “the so-called war on Christmas”

and st. nicholas v. santa claus):

“NEWSFLASH: The Ranter has declared war on Christmas!

Or at least Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson and the other genius right-

wingers at Faux News believe that liberal, left, secularists like The

Ranter have declared war on Christmas. I hate to disappoint, so I

have created a “Make war on Christmas, not Iraq” bumper sticker.

Joining me in this anti-crusade is John Calvin, the famous Reformer

of Geneva, father of the Puritan movement and one of the original

soldiers in the war on Christmas.

“Many commentators have written to note that Christmas is alive and

well (or ill from a case of acute commercialism, actually, but most

Christians and atheists agree with that assessment as well unless they

happen to be retailers).

 

“. . .  More surprising to many Christians and atheists alike is that the

great-grandfather of religious fundamentalism, John Calvin, was himself

a soldier in the war against Christmas. Like most educated Christians,

Calvin knew that the birth of Jesus did not correspond in any meaningful

way to December 25th, and that it was in essence a pagan holiday that

had been absorbed and coopted by early Christians. Calvin, however, went

the next step in believing that only holidays specifically mentioned in the

Bible should be celebrated.”

 

                                                                                      

Like any good retailer, Ranter has an entire line of products at his War on Christmas

boutique — from bumper stickers and magnets, to mugs, shirts and tote bags. As 

he explains pitching the product: 

“Make War on Christmas, Not Iraq” Tired of Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson?

Join The Ranter in the war on Christmas. I mean this tongue in cheek, of

course. I wrote a blog post pointing out that John Calvin was a soldier in

the war on Christmas and, being a fan of Calvin, I have decided to enlist

myself.”

If you’ve given in to the commercialization of our Holiday Season, Ranter has a lot

of other gifts to please the Liberals in your life (or to tweak the conservatives),

including products featuring:

Miracle of the Burning Bush

 

Proud Member of the Vast Liberal Conspiracy 

 

If You Can Read This You Don’t Vote Republican – “No doubt some

Republicans can read, but clearly they don’t or they wouldn’t vote the

way they do.”

 

Lost. One Democracy Want Ad.   “LOST: One democracy. Large

economic and military power. 300,000,000 citizens. Last seen in

North America cavorting with corporate fat cats and religious funda-

mentalists. If found, return to the American people. Great sentimental

value.”

Besides checking out his full product line at CafePress, you could do far worse than

checking in regularly at Taken for Ranted, which has the appropriate tagline: “Paying

attention, and therefore outraged.”  On the other hand, reindeer might want to steer

clear of his home in Yosemite, CA, for the next week or so.

 

 

lips and tongues

traditional Christmas

papercuts

         dagosan

 

A month ago, the Florida Supreme Court ruled that attorneys

John Pape and Marc Chandler acted unethically by using a

pit bull logo and an 800-PIT-BULL phone number in marketing

their services to persons injured in motor cycle accidents.  The

Court said the Pit Bull image demeaned the legal profession.  

Consumer and First Amendment advocates, legal ethics experts,

and the public in general, replied scornfully to the Court’s argument

and hoped Pape & Chandler would take the case to the United

States Supreme Court. (see our prior post, which collects many

links) 

 

 

Marc Chandler has informed f/k/a that Pape & Chandler won’t just heel

and whimper.  Instead, they have hired Rodney A. Smolla, Dean of the

Richmond School of Law and well-known First Amendment author and

advocate, to seek review of the case at our nation’s highest court.  [In

2003, Smolla successfully represented the respondent in Virginia v. Black,

538 U.S. 343, a cross-burning case.]

 

Of course, the certiorari hurdle is always great, but I’d be interested

in hearing predictions on how the various Justices might vote, should

they take the case.  Would the Court conclude that pious notions of

“dignity” only make the legal profession look silly and are inadequate

reasons for limiting commercial speech and First Amendment rights

of lawyers and consumers?

 

 

christmas morning

the old retriever gets

all the innards

 

            ed markowski 

 

 

 

 

not much afternoon left–

his dog runs loose

ahead of him

 

“dogHouseN”

 

 

 

letting

the dog out–

the stars in

 

 

 

distant thunder–

the dog’s toenails click

against the linoleum

 

Gary Hotham from breathmarks: haiku to read in the dark 

(Canon Press, 1999)

 

 

 

brand new snowbank

the neighbor’s dog

makes a deposit

 

      dagosan

 

p.s. Here’s a smaller, b&w version of the logo in question:

 

 

fresh scent–

   the labrador’s muzzle

        deeper into the snow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas morning—
bird dog in the stubblefield
chasing sparrows

 

    Lee Gurga from Fresh Scent (1998)