Frontiers of Typicality

uncannyvalley

Dear Student Name,

Your Remarkable Candidate Application for admission to Uncanny Valley University is already mostly done. Click here to see. We’ve pre-filled lots of stuff to make sure you get a personalized application experience.

And, your Remarkable Candidate status also qualifies you to get these Remarkable Advantages:

  • No essay (we’ve written that for you too)
  • Some kind of scholarship
  • Short cut to admission

Student Name, just like your Remarkable Candidate Application, your education at Uncanny Valley will be tailored to suit you, with more than 900 majors to choose from. Plus other sentences ending in prepositions. Our advisors stand ready to help pave your college journey.

Click here to begin your personalized UVU experience by getting started on your admission application right away!

Sincerely,

Les S. Moore
Director of Admissions
Uncanny Valley University
9726 Slipping Falls Road
Niethersex, MF 11111

I couldn’t resist.

Our kid, a high school senior, gets pitch letters from every college and university in the U.S. Or so it seems. (Our sample size is 1, so wadda we know?)

Most of these pitches are talking brochures, but some are so packed with clichés that I couldn’t resist mocking the worst of them, one of which came today. I rewrote it enough to mask the source, which is actually a good college. (And hell, who knows… the kid might wanna go there.)

  1. Eric’s avatar

    So true–feels like half our recycling pile is filled with these mailings….

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